


The Rise Of The Morningstar

by Skyllen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angelic Power, Angels, Anger, Desperation, Downworlders, F/M, Fights, Ithuriel - Freeform, Loss of Trust, Love, Runes, Trust, power
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyllen/pseuds/Skyllen
Summary: Jocelyn didn't leave Valentine after the Uprising. Together they withdrew from the Shadowhunter society to escape the Clave's deadly trial. Eighteen years later,  Jonathan and Clarissa developed to young and killing Shadwohunters, trained by their father to be better, faster and stronger than any ordinary Shadowhunter could ever be. After one of Valentine's experiments wipes out the humanity in Jonathan, who almost kills Clary, Jocelyn and Clary escape from the hidden Morgenstern mansion and find half-hearted shelter in the New York Institute. Leaving her father's tenets behind, Clary is introduced into the free and equal Shadow World. But the Morgenstern weighs heavily on Clary's shoulders. The Clave as well as almost every Shadowhunter mistrusts her. All her efforts to start a new life attached to the Shadowhunter's values seem to fail, when she gets to know Jace Herondale, the son whose family was murdered by her father years ago.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone who starts to read this fanfic. I really hope you will enjoy it. Please excuse any kind of language mistakes, I am not a native speaker and translate my stories myself. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the prologue. I would love to read some of your comments on my first chapter! I hope I will be able to update soon!

**Prologue**

My feet met the ground with a graceful pirouette and the blade struck his hip. The hit couldn't have been more precise. Jonathan started to stumble and took an uncertain step back. I couldn't help grinning. However the next thing I knew, he was already up and about to start his attack.

I heard an fierce hiss escaping his mouth and looked up at him perplexed. His dark eyes flashed out of anger. Did I hurt him? The moment he noticed my stare he drew his sword and wielded it down on me at full power. At the last moment I ducked leftwards and parried him off. It took all my strength to withstand the weight of his blade. What was he thinking? He knew that he wasn't allowed to attack with full strength! He'd never broken the rules our father gave us and we've been training together for more than ten years after all.

"Jonathan, what 's that supposed to be?" I looked at him, confused by this behavior. To make him stop I rose my hand at the height of my chest while I quit my defense.

Fresh air blew through my hair. The forest around us had turned unusually quiet. The only sound was the air rustling through the trees. Even without the snow covering every inch of the meadow one could have guessed the season. All animals were gone, not even the birds had remained. This year winter would become very cold.

A second later I lied on the icecold ground. There was a piercing pain in my shoulder. In a painful movement I lifted my head up. My eyes met Jonathan's who stood above me and seemed to study my every move. His eyes were so dark, much darker than usually. It must to be due to the cold, I thought while shivering.

Suddenly I realized he was the reason I was laying on the ground. "Jonathan, damn it, stop it!" I furiously tried to sit up but Jonathan interrupted me by digging his heavy shoe in my ribs. A pained gasp escaped my mouth as I heard a bone crack inside my chest. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my blood and a second later I rose up and flung him on the ground with me.

"Stop it right now." My voice was loud and grave, I felt as if there was no other way to make him understand the meaning behind the words. Jonathan laid beneath me and I pushed his arms in the snow. I could see my raging reflection in his eyes.

He was stuck for an answer. He didn't seem to care. Instead he squeezed his fingernails into my forearm and started the attempt to wrestle me down. He turned his body and I went down with him. The only thing I saw was his bright hair, it seemed brighter than the snow around us. Again I felt the ground in my back and let out an irritated sigh. Jonathan's unchecked anger seemed to persuade his behavior more and more. He showed his teeth and pushed his left arm on my chest while his other hand went back to his belt.

Stunned I tried to loosen the pressure of his arm but the more I moved the more my ribs hurt. "Let me go", I exclaimed and spit in his face. By the angel, what was wrong with him?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand break away from his belt. A second later he smote me in the face, his fingernails drilling in my skin. Then he drew a golden dagger and my body stiffened under his weight. Wide-eyed I tried to explain myself how the situation could have run out of control that bad. There was no time to react when he let the Kindjal down, faster than I've ever seen him move before.

It all happened in slow motion. I saw the dagger's tip, shining in a bright gold, as it approached me. I would have been able to get out of his way if I wasn't so surprised about his actions. He left me no choice but watch him stabbing the Kindjal into my throat. I gasped for air and tried to prepare for the pain. It felt like hot lava spreading through my veins and burning me from inside. In a scream racked with pain I slumped down beneath him. My eyes were closed when I finally heard the voice of my father.

"Jonathan", he said calmly while he stood up from the stub he'd been silently sitting on all along. He'd been watching us the entire time. "You need to sort your emotions. Look what you did to your sister." His voice was totally calm and not upset at all which would made me furious if I had heard his discourse. The only thing I listened to was the blood rushing through my ears.

Someone pulled up my sleeve and I felt a light burn on my skin as someone, probably my father, applied an Iratze on my skin. Then a strong pair of arms picked me up and my consciousness vanished into thin air.

oOo

"By the angel, how could this happen?"

"Jocelyn, please calm down! Clarissa is doing well, she only needs to rest." My father didn't even bother to whisper. His voice always seemed omnipresent.

"Jonathan stabbed her with a dagger and she only needs to rest?!" My mother screamed at him in disbelief and I couldn't blame her for it.

"Jonathan didn't do it on purpose", Valentine tried to convince my mother. "It was a moment of weakness. He lost control of his emotions, that's all."

There was a moment of icecold silence in the sideroom. I used the time to sit myself up. The movement made me shiver. I instinctively raised my hand to the wound. The blood inside my throat pulsed like a beating heart. I sat in my bed, wrapped up in several blankets. There was a little commode beside the bed with a dinner tray on it. Someone had brought a hot cup and some fruits up to my room. But I didn't get the chance to bend over the commode because my parents continued their argument.

"Valentine … I can't believe it … what have you done?" As the sound of her voice reached my ears I stiffened and started to shiver. I've never heard my mother sound this way. She sounded incredibly distant and deeply shocked. I listened carefully as my father defended himself.

"I was necessary, don't you understand? From this point on nobody will have the ability to hurt Jonathan or Clarissa ever again. It has been a generous offer." The way he spoke made me shudder in fear. What was going on here? What was wrong with Jonathan?

" _A generous offer_?!" Jocelyn's scream frightened me to death. " _How did you dare_ , how could you even _imagine_ , selling _your own son_ to Lilith?! Don't you understand what consequences your actions bring for Jonathan and Clary? You made them both suffer and because of you his soul will probably suffer _the rest of his life_!" Suddenly there wasn't any air to breath. I choked and fell on the floor. Jonathan sold to Lilith? By the angel, what was going on here? Of course I knew who Lilith was but still I didn't understand anything.

"Shut your mouth, Jocelyn", Valentine snapped at my mother. "How do you dare talking such _things_ about our son? I dealt with the situation in a realistic way. I did the best thing to protect our children. I can not believe that you talk about Jonathan in such a disdainful manner. Withal you do exactly know that there is powerful blood in Clarissa's veins too." Silence. The thoughts in my head spinned around. Powerful blood? In my veins? What does this portend? I felt exhausted. Nerveless I slumped down on the wooden floor and let the darkness get control over me.

When I woke up again I still lay in my bed. The sun shone through the window into the room and the heat under my blankets seemed unbearable. I wanted to sit up and get out of bed but but a familiar hand pushed me back into the cushions.

With a puzzled expression I looked up and recognized my mother sitting on the edge of the bed. She smiled but there was something deeply sad in her green eyes. I didn't understand why she was smiling at all. "Clary, you're finally awake, I worried that it would take more time for you to recover." She examined me with a caring look on her face.

I withstood the attempt to hide my feelings from her. "Mom, what's going on?" My voice sounded vulnerable and insecure.

"We have to leave, Clary. It'll be safer for us. I know that you probably don't understand what's going on and later when we're beyond your father's reach I will explain every single detail to you. And if you decide to return you will be free to go. Your most important clothes and belongings are packed, you just need to get dressed." So she'll be stuck for an answer. Just now I realized how serious the situation really was. She wanted to leave Valentine and Jonathan. She wanted to start a new life somewhere out of their reach. But how? They were Shadowhunters, they'd find us anywhere. My throat felt constricted so I only nodded and stood up.

"Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn will help us. I've already send him a fire-message", my mother said from a great distance. I was too absentminded to pay her full attention. Frequently, I had to think about my father ... and Jonathan and his furious face that felt like a mask which didn't match his usual behavior at all.

oOo

With a sigh I turned to face my mother. We were riding on our horses heading westwards, away from the hidden manor and away from Alicante. "Mom", I began in a uncertain tone, convinced that I wouldn't bear the answers to my questions. "What happened with Jonathan?" I gave her a quick glance and saw her features tense in pain. "Please", begging her to say something "I need to know the whole truth. You have to tell me. Stop protecting me, no matter what it is I can stand it."

"No you can't." It took all of Jocelyn's strength to make her voice sound halfway neutral as she nodded and started to tell me the story of her life. "Your father has never been like other men … like ordinary Shadowhunters. He'd always sought for something greater for what I truly admired him at the beginning. In young years he already had a different sight on our Shadowhunters' nature and he publicly demanded-"

"What is it?" Why did she stop? I studied her carefully. Her eyes darted to a distant point. It was snowing and tiny white snowflakes got caught in her bright red hair. The wind was icecold but she didn't seem to notice or she just didn't care.

"I guess I have to start at the actual beginning", she explained and continued. "The first time I've met your father was in school in Alicante. He wasn't in our year but in the year above us and-"

"Wait", I abruptly interrupted her. "Who do you refer to when you say _us_?"

"With us I mean me and my best friend Lucian. Lucian Graymark. We've known each other since forever and as a result we also went to school together. While I've always been good at school, Lucian had his problems. Then he met Valentine who helped him. He privately taught him, spend a lot of time with him and gave Lucian the feeling to be important to someone except me. Everyone was literally thrilled about Valentine whereas I effaced myself regarding him. Soon people realized that Valentine had a very _special_ opinion towards Downworlders. At some point he founded the Circle. The Circle, back then it felt more like a teenage riot, represented the thought of Idris with clear and strict borders for Downworlders because they carried demonic blood in their veins. Lucian was totally devoted to Valentine just as many other young Shadowhunters too. I sometimes called them _Valentine's fan club_."

"But one day Valentine's parents were killed by a demon attack. It changed him. He fell into fits of range and I feared Lucian would lose his friend. Valentine seemed to lose more and more control of his life."

"I felt sorry for him and it was strange to see such a strong man like him suffer from an attack that could have been prevented if the Clave had paid him more attention. He suffered and so … I helped him cope with his loss. We spend a lot of time together and somehow we fell in love. Eventually married and I hoped it would help him to forget. As you can see it didn't. Valentine started to cut himself off, his persuasions became extremer than ever. Suddenly talking wasn't enough anymore, _he_ had to take action. Since his parents' death he'd bottled up with hatred for Downworlders and any kind of demonic creature. The development of his plan, the obliteration of all demonic creatures, was his top priority ever since."

"After Jonathan was born he and Lucian went on a mission to end a near-by wolfpack. When Valentine and Lucian returned he explained to me that Lucian has been bitten by an unexpected attack of the werewolves. We waited a month for the next full moon and were devastated when Lucian turned."

"For Valentine this was a heavy setback, he loved Lucian like his own brother. But he still believed that the demonic blood could turn every Downworlder into a monster. Valentine grieved about Lucian as if he was already dead, I think in his eyes he actually was dead. Shortly afterwards Lucian disappeared, months passed but we never heard anything from him so Valentine believed that he died or ended his own life. But I was sure that Lucian was still alive, I still am but the fact that he never tried to come back to see me after all of our years of friendship… I don't know … So much time has passed since then."

"Valentine's paranoia grew day by day and when I got pregnant again his fear to lose the child increased so much that … he did something unforgivable. Especially because I went through a difficult phase during that time. The past events had exhausted me. Lucian had left and we didn't know if he was still alive, it was too much for me. I didn't eat, didn't go out and slept most of the time. Valentine called it a _depression_ , but this is rather a human term. During that time he took care of me and even fed me. The problem was, and still is, that the food he fed me wasn't ordinary food. Clary, you have to believe me when I say that I just found out about all of this yesterday." She came to a standstill and lowered her eyes."

„Tell me", I said. My fingers were trembling. Though we were sitting on our horses for hours, I was breathless. "I want to know the truth." She averted her eyes and pressed her lips together as if she tried to hold pack something unbearable. With a deep breath she opened her mouth.

„Angelic blood", she said. „ He mixed in into my food and hoped it would make me … happier, more active … I'm not sure. And it actually did. But the point is that I was pregnant, with you." She sadly smiled.

„The angelic blood affected _me_ , a grown up woman in her late twenties. Just imagine the effect it could have on still developing living beings, an unborn just like you were. He told me he did all of this to protect us from the dangers of the Shadow World but the truth is that it was just another of his experiments. I guess he never really understood that Shadowhunters' are part of the Shadow World too."

"Old legends say that the blood of the angels can give Shadowhunters enormous power, it is able to make you stronger, faster and also happier. Valentine mixed dried angelic blood into my food hoping that it would cure my depression. It did. It didn't make me stronger or more powerful but it helped me to get more active. When he started feeding me the mixed food I could tell that something has changed in my body but I thought that it might be natural due to the pregnancy."

"Stop", I gasped for air. My pulse was racing and I couldn't breathe. Unbelievable pain shot through my veins and I felt the tears in my eyes. "But how- Where did he get the blood from? It's just a myth there is no place on earth where- Father's only chance to get ahold of angelic blood is through the angels' themselves… And-"

"I know Clary", my mother's eyes were filled with pain. "And the angels would never give a Shadowhunter their blood voluntarily…" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. A single tear ran down her cheek. We both knew that there was no greater felony than hurting an angel. We were never close to the angels, we were their descendants but in all the years since Jonathan Shadowhunter there was no one who ever saw or spoke to an angel. But we knew they were there, watching us. But not even my father was powerful enough to raise an angel. Even if he got the blood from someone else at some point the blood must have been taken from an angel at some point. My heart ached.

"Now that your father finally told me the truth so much seems to make sense now. I believe that I was too old to experience all the effects of the angelic blood but on a living being that's still developing the effects could be much more intensive. When I remember the past seventeen years I am pretty sure that it changed you more than it changed me. I believe that it runs through your veins which means that it has a permanent impact on you while I had to consume it on a daily basis, like a drug."

Those things Jocelyn told me. I know they were true, there was no reason to lie but still I couldn't believe a word she said. It sounded wrong and horrible and insane. From one to the next moment everything I seemed to know about my father vanished. My whole world view turned upside down and it was irreversible. "You want to say that there is angelic blood running through my veins? Even if it is true nothing has changed, I am an ordinary Shadowhunter. Nothing is special about me." Of course I knew that my words weren't true. We, the Morningstar children, were special. Trained to kill faster, better and quieter, there was nothing an army of ordinary Shadowhunters could do against us. At least my father has told us so.

"You aren't ordinary, Clary", my mother said. Of course anyone's mother would tell such a thing to her child but she was right and wrong at the same time. We were stronger than the Shadowhunters of the Clave but it was our hard training that had shaped the warriors we were meant to be. Still I wasn't faster or stronger than Jonathan and he hadn't angelic blood in his veins so the blood couldn't have affected me in many ways.

"I know that you are special, I saw you grow up. You were a gifted child, talented in everything your father and I taught you. You were generous and kind and calm. When you were very young around three to four years old you started to have very strong _emotional outbursts_. It didn't happen often. For a moment you seemed totally happy but one second later you were incredibly furious. In those moments there was nothing we could do. Hearing us breath was enough for you to snap. Those outbursts never lasted longer than seconds but they were from such an immense power that we feared to interrupt or come in your way. You'd never hurt us but in those moments you didn't seem to be yourself, as if someone else had taken control over you." Though the story she was telling sounded scary and terrible she gave me a warm smile.

"Why did you never tell me about this? I can't even believe that I did those things, I mean …" The story of the four year old me sounded odd as if I had started to get crazy for a couple of minutes. As if I had been _possessed_. "What did I do?"

"You got really upset. Sometimes you ran through the room so fast that we couldn't even see you move, you would hit against the wall with such a power we feared you would break through it. The dings in the walls … you remember them, don't you? Your father never managed to cover the completely, crafting wasn't his strength."

"You mean, those dings in the walls are from me, from my outbursts?" I remembered some of them pretty well. Sometimes I've been sitting on the staircase listening to the parental conversations in the living room while my fingers have wandered around the wall.

My mother nodded. "The older you got the rare your outbursts became. Back then I thought that it was just a time some children went through at some point but now I believe that it might have had other reasons. I believe that it was the angelic blood in you."

"But the angels are kind and patient. You told me the story of a young girl behaving like a monster", I said and looked down at my hands. I couldn't believe that I was capable of something like that.

"The angels are warriors too, Clary. They also have a darker side inside of them. There are enough legends saying that there is nothing more unpredictable than the temper of an angel. They can be kind but if they desire they can kill you within seconds. All of this is new to you and I wish we had more time to discuss everything in detail but I have to tell you the rest of the story." She examined me briefly as if she was questioning how much more it would take for me to fall apart.

"I wasn't the only one Valentine fed with angelic blood. After Lucian had left, your father needed a new second-in-command. He chose Stephen Herondale. Stephen's wife Céline was pregnant too. He gave her a medicine which she should take every day before going to bed. It was that part of his explanation yesterday when I realized that Valentine never had the intention to protect any of us. It had been all part of his plan, he wanted to create the strongest warriors the world had ever seen, stronger than any Nephilim could ever be. He knew the cause of your behavior all along, he fooled me all those years."

"But he could never bring his plans to an end because Stephen, Valentine's first officer, died in an attack against vampires. Céline … she was only a young girl, she couldn't bear it. She died shortly after giving birth to a healthy baby-boy. She named him Jonathan, after our Jonathan. After all what Valentine had done to her and her family, she still looked up to him. Céline was a very pretty and kind woman but too young and too naïve." Jocelyn's gaze went into the distance.

"What happened to the baby?" My father was a strict man, mostly detached but I'd never expect him to be so cruel. Normally I should have waited with my judgement until he had the chance to defend himself but something told me that there was no need for that.

"Valentine wasn't lucky. Jonathan was adopted by the Lightwood family. They had once been part of the Circle but left before their first child was born. Jonathan Herondale was out of Valentine's reach, his experiment had failed."

I nodded and pet the horse's soft skin, it was surprisingly warm. The icy wind had stopped but the snow was still falling and there was no end in sight. "So that's it? Jonathan Herondale has been saved from our father's claws but what did that change for us?"

"It changed a lot", my mother replied with a serious voice. "It turned his attention back to his actual plan."

A fragile laugh escaped my mouth. It rather sounded like a cry than a laugh. "His _actual_ plan?" As if he hadn't already done enough.

"The destruction of the Downworlders. The Clave planned to conclude a contract with the Downworlders to ensure peace and punish unnecessary violence between one another. It all happened before you were born. Of course your father was totally against the accords, he and the other members of the Circle planned to sabotage the signing. As the years passed I forgot who Valentine really was and who he had been before life happened. His ideals didn't matter to me anymore … because of Lucian … He was the reason why I asked his sister Amatis, who had left the Circle shortly beforehand, to search for Lucian and spread the message of Valentine's plan to the Downworlders."

"So you betrayed him", I said and wasn't sure if I was stunned about her bravery or frightened about the danger she had put herself into. "He didn't find out, did he?"

Jocelyn shook her head in a silent response. Her bright green eyes shone like emeralds. "On the day of the signing Downworlders of all kinds stormed into the Hall of the Angel before the members of the Circle could finish their plan. It came to a horrible fight between them. It was a massacre which the Circle lost in the end. Before the Clave could catch us we managed to escape. Valentine escaped with me and Jonathan and burnt my family's manor to erase all our traces. The Clave should think that we were dead, that we rather killed ourselves than be caught. A lot of the Circle's members were dead, Valentine's plan had failed and I guess this was the reason your brother had to go through hell."

I stared at her not knowing how I should ever accept those facts as truth. My father was a murderer. The murderer of countless living beings. „What did he do to Jonathan?"

„Valentine gave Jonathan away to Lilith, the mother of all demons." Her voice sounded more fragile than ever. I was ready to throw up although I didn't understand a thing she said. "Lilith was never able to have children herself, all of them died right after birth. In Jonathan she hoped to find the son she never had so she gave Valentine some of her blood to turn Jonathan into … her son."

My horse seemed to feel my terror, it nervously started to prance back and forth instead of running straight ahead. "I don't understand, you said that the blood's effects can have a greater impact if the child is still developing…"

"This is the truth with angelic blood, it has a similar consistence as our Shadowhunter blood because we already carry angelic blood within us. Demonic blood is thicker than our blood so it dominates when getting in a living body, this is the reason that Shadowhunters as well as humans can be turned into Downworlders but not the other way around."

"Does this mean that Jonathan is … a demon now?! Did he behave like this because of the demonic blood?"

"I can't tell for sure", Jocelyn whispered without any emotion and I could see that she broke down in tears. "The blood changed him, he isn't your brother anymore, Valentine said it himself. He wasn't expecting the blood to change Jonathan as much as it did. Valentine has his problems to keep him under control."

„Mom", I whispered and bent across the horse to touch her shoulder in comfort.

She turned her head away. "We have to hurry to cross the border soon. Magnus Bane's portal is waiting in France for us", she remarked and spurred her horse.

I couldn't believe that Jonathan was lost. I loved him more than I loved myself. Everything my mother had said seemed so surreal and the future had to show me if all of that was really true. But for now I guessed I had to trust her. My heart ached when I thought about Jonathan, he was all I ever had and him being some kind of demonic Shadowhunter was worse than the thought of him being dead.

Jocelyn was wrong in one point. Jonathan would always be my brother.


	2. Pt. 1 - The Mutated Demon // Chapter 1 - The Earth Will Not Stop Turning

** Part 1 „The Mutated Demon“ **

** Chapter 1 „The Earth Will Not Stop Turning” **

I’ve never went through a portal. I knew what they looked like but Valentine had always said that it was too dangerous to use a portal because the Clave supervised the portal-activity in Idris. They would have sent Shadowhunters to investigate. When I stepped through the portal Magnus Bane had created for us I felt sort of nervous. I didn’t trust a strangers magic. But we had no other choice, Magnus Bane was our only chance to leave Idris and Europe far behind us.

Ungently, my feet hit a wooden ground and it was harder then expected to keep the balance. With a quiet sigh I turned my head and saw that the portal had already vanished. My mother stood next to me, she smiled when she noticed my gaze. Hastily I checked for my bag but it was still on my shoulders. I slightly relaxed when I felt the rough fabric under my fingertips.

“Jocelyn Morgenstern”, I heard an unknown voice speak and tensed. “Or should I rather call you Jocelyn Fairchild?” I looked around the room, a large living room decorated with a huge purple sofa and an ancient chandelier with lots of diamonds on it. On the walls were beautiful paintings of landscapes I’d never seen before. The room was adjacent to a glass façade with a balcony made of brick behind it. The glass façade revealed a view at the skyline of a city full of skyscrapers and neon lights. New York.

“I consider myself a Fairchild”, Jocelyn said and smiled sadly. “Good evening, Magnus, I’m glad to see you.”

Magnus Bane was a midsize man with stylish black hair and gold-green catlike eyes. He wore a deep-red suit with golden cufflinks and had a glass of blue liquid in his hand. An amused smile ran over his face. “You haven’t changed at all”, he continued and his eyes rested on me. “Very interesting, Clarissa Morgenstern, daughter of Valentine Morgenstern. You look just like your mother.”

I just stared at him without answering. I’d never seen a Downworlder before and my father had told us horrifying stories about them. He said that they were killers, monsters, controlled by their demonic blood. Very dangerous indeed. Magnus Bane didn’t seem dangerous at all he rather looked like a crazy warlock with a very special taste.  
  


The warlock noticed my curious stare. “I bet my shoes I’m the first warlock you’ve ever seen“, he said and winked at me. “Don’t worry, Clarissa, I don’t bite, only vampires do.“

If this was a joke I didn’t understand it. It would take some time for me to get used to this world and how the living beings in it behaved. I gave him a weak smile and acted as if I found it funny. “Please call me Clary” I said instead. “Only my father calls me Clarissa.”

He nodded and turned to my mother. While they silently spoke about something I looked around his Apartment. The furniture consisted of individual pieces that looked so different from one another that it seemed as if Magnus had just tossed them together. “I though a High Warlock would receive enough salary to afford firsthand furniture. Your furniture looks as if you bough it on a flea market.”

With a offended expression Magnus examined me from top to bottom. An unpleasant shiver ran through my bones. I didn’t want to provoke him with my words I just wanted to see his reaction. At last he was the first Downworlder I’d ever met in my life. I thought of them as completely different living beings with different behaviors and different values. “Of course I earn enough, young girl, but I enjoy this furniture”, he noticed insulted. “Nevertheless, every single piece in my apartment is an unique item and _very_ expensive. Don’t bother other people just because you lack a sense of taste, little Nephilim.”

  
I laughed a nervous laugh and my eyes met my mother’s who gave me a questioning and embarrassed look. I left the living room and went out to the balcony to finally take a closer look at New York. I’ve never been out of Idris, never spoke to other people than my family. My father had always insisted to stay in Idris. He’d said that it would be too dangerous for the Morningstar children outside because the Clave had to believe that he and Jocelyn had died in the flames of the Fairchild’s manor. In exile we learned everything about the world that was outside our magical protective walls. We obtained the best education, supervised by our father. Jonathan and I were undefeatable, he’d always told us, his voice full of pride. Now both of them were gone. Jonathan and Valentine. This conclusion hurt more than anything else.

In silence I stared in the distance and wondered about the sun’s rays that were mirrored in the skyscrapers. I wondered about the huge advertisements, street lamps and the mass of cars driving on the streets. Somehow the skyscrapers reminded me of the demon towers in Alicante. I’d never been there personally of course but sometimes Jonathan and I had been allowed to watch them from afar.

The street was full of humans. I’d never seen more than four people at the same spot but here … I couldn’t say how many of them walked on the sideways. There were too many to count. None on them seemed worried or frightened. If Valentine’s plan became reality many things would change, even some in the mundane world. But the world would continue turning and time would pass.

The sun rose further. Nothing could ever stop the sun. Nobody would ever dare to come in its way. The sun was overpowering. But even the sun had to set and then night would fall. Automatically I had to think of Jonathan.

He’d always been a very kind, considerate and intelligent man. Hate and rage didn’t belong to his nature. Jonathan had liked to solve conflicts in a calm and peaceful manner. It made his behavior’s change even more bizarre. I’d never seen his face shaped by rage the way it had the day when we had been in the woods. He couldn’t hate me or Jocelyn. He loved us. But somehow he forgot he’d loved us. Valentine seemed to be the only one able to control Jonathan. Demons weren’t able to feel emotions as love, kindness or compassion. They only felt hate and lust and satisfied their greed through humans’ emotions. My father had always told us so. Jonathan didn’t love us anymore, he didn’t felt anything anymore except the heatless fire inside his chest. Jonathan probably thought that he was still able to feel humane because he’d been human.

If Valentine didn’t exist all of this would never have happened. But then us two wouldn’t exist either. It was hard to believe that my father did all of this on his own, killing his own child and destroying his family for a vision, for some kind of personal revenge against demons. How paradox, I thought, he hated demons but to achieve his goal he turned his son in a demon.

The next step of our escape was still uncertain to me. My mother wanted to wait telling me her plan until she was a hundred percent sure how our plan would continue. What would we do? We couldn’t stay at Magnus’ forever. Maybe for a couple of days but at some point we had to move forward. The best place to hide was the mundane world. There were so many of them, I couldn’t tell how Valentine and Jonathan should ever find us if we just went underground. A life in the shadows, an ordinary life between humans who were uncapable to see the whole world. Without weapons, runes and my training. I wasn’t sure if I was able to leave everything behind. Though hiding wouldn’t protect us from my father’s plan.

“Clary”, said a soft voice behind me and I slowly turned my gaze away from the city lights. Jocelyn stood in the doorway to the balcony and examined me. “Tonight we will stay in Magnus’ guestroom. For our safety we cannot leave the apartment.” I nodded absently. “Magnus will ask around the Shadow World for information that concern your father and Jonathan, if they already started to hunt us down.” The moment their hunt would begin was the moment when they would reveal their existence to the Shadow World and the Clave. 

Although the sun was up I retired to the guestroom. I’d been up all night after all and I wanted to lye down for a couple of hours before Magnus would return with important information.

  
oOo

„Clary.“ The voice.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and flinched in sudden horror as I recognized my room in Idris. I could see myself in the mirror on the wall. The red hair unkempt from sleep, sparkling green eyes and a pale taint. And in front of me on the edge of the bed sat Jonathan.  
  


Surprised, I gasped for air and shrunk back until my back touched the wooden wall behind me. “Jonathan”, I whispered strained and looked at him with a dull expression.

Jonathan was totally calm, much calmer than I expected him to be. Almost as stiff as a statue he sat on the bed and his hands were folded in his lap. He observed me with dark eyes. “Don’t be afraid”, he whispered with a soft voice. “Everything is over now. Everything will be alright from now on.”

“Where am I? Where’s mom?” With a pounding heart I tried to figure him out. My voice sounded fragile and I noticed that I’d started crying.

Jonathan smiled – the way he used to smile when we’d still been a team – and reached out for my cheek with his hand. He gently removed the tears. “You don’t have to cry. It’s inappropriate for Valentine’s daughter to cry. You should be happy that father and I rescued you both before the Clave could catch you.”

Confused, I stared at my brother. “What do you mean? How did you knew where to find us in the first place? What happened?” The questions blurted out of my mouth but I wasn’t ready to hear the answers. They would only cause me pain like all the things recently did.

Jonathan skimmed my hair. “It’s alright.”

“Damn it, Jonathan, what is this?! Now finally tell me the truth, Jonathan Morgenstern!” I wanted to break loose from him but Jonathan abruptly pulled me closer by my hair.

“You should be ashamed, you embarrass our family’s honor!” He screamed at me and now he looked like the Jonathan I’d left in Idris. His black eyes flashed in anger and he bared his teeth like an animal.

“Let me go!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and with my free hand I hit him in his stomach as heavy as I could.

Jonathan cried out and let me go. Not a second passed as I rolled aside and jumped out of bed in my pajamas.

“Clary.” Suddenly, Jonathan stood in front of me and it seemed as if he’d calmed down for a moment. How did he move so fast? His voice was filled with compassion. _Demons are not able to feel emotions like we do but they are perfectly well at acting that they do_ , a voice inside my head whispered.

“Jonathan what’s going on with-“, I started but he abruptly interrupted me.

“Don’t call me that”, Jonathan hissed like a serpent. I glared at him, perplexed. “You don’t have the right to call me by my name”, he calmly said and put on a perfidious grin.

“You’re insane”, I gave back and folded my hands in front of my chest. “Jonathan … If there’s still a spark of humanity in you, try to fight against Lilith. This isn’t you, you aren’t like that.”

Jonathan laughed a conceited laugh and grabbed my arm. “Listen to yourself, don’t talk about things you don’t have the slightest clue about.”

“I know who you are”, I screamed and pulled away. “I know who you are! This is not you! This is a monster!”

“Clary.” His voice was dangerously quiet and his eyes were narrowed.

My breathing went faster, there was no air to breath it was all gone. “I mean it, you are a monster. You aren’t my brother anymore!”

“Clary.” This time it wasn’t Jonathan’s voice that spoke to me but Jocelyn’s. Then I woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back everyone!
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and would be pleased to hear some of your feedback. I know that the first chapters of this story aren't well trasnlated, but it'll change with more chapters, I promise! 
> 
> See you soon :)


	3. Chapter 3 - Our Deceased Past

** Chapter 3 - Our Deceased Past**

I couldn’t sleep although it was in the middle of the night. The blanket was pulled up under my chin and I lay in the bed of my new room which Maryse had escorted me to hours before.

Tomorrow, I would get to know the other Shadowhunters with whom I would train together. _This will completely backfire_ , I thought. Still, this wasn’t the reason for my missing sleep.

I wasn’t able to stop thinking. My brain didn’t want to shut down. I thought about my father, the things my mother had accused him of. And I thought about Jonathan. I feared that they would eventually find us here. After all, my father had his spies, who had pledged allegiance to him, everywhere.

Just last night, they had attacked the Institute in Paris, probably because they thought that we had directly gone to the closest Institute to Idris. I swallowed and my stomach felt heavy although I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner. Five Shadowhunters had died at the attack. Five glowing lives and I was involved in their deaths even if only in a passive way. I had never killed anyone. Never. Not even an animal. And now there were five bodies at once and it was all my fault.

I didn’t know any of them in person of course, but it still discomforted me. With tears in my eyes, I stared into the darkness of my room and remembered the dream that I had last night. It must’ve had a meaning, any of my past dreams had felt as realistic as this one. The question was, how Jonathan was involved in it. I’d thought about the meaning of the dream all evening but hadn’t understood it. Maybe I worried too much and it had just been a regular dream. Maybe the dream had felt more realistic than usual because I had been exhausted from our trip or from all the events that had happened beforehand.

Only when I woke up the next morning I realized that I’d eventually fallen asleep at all. The sun was up already and bright sunlight fell through the window.

The walls of my new room were white, the bed had been extemporary covered with a grey sheet. There was no other furniture except for a single chair. As soon as my mother would be a hundred percent sure that we’d stay here I’d have to redesign the room. It looked too bare and cold.

Someone must have been in my room while I’d been asleep because a clean Shadowhunter gown laid on the chair. I took it and went to the bathroom to change.

  
When I entered the corridor some minutes later, it was as empty as yesterday. Although, not _completely_ empty. A grey cat was sitting next to my door as if it was waiting for something … or _someone_. Its yellow eyes rested on me and it jumped on its feed when I closed the door behind me. The cat had probably been waiting for me.  
  


„Oh hello”, I said and examined the grey cat that ran up to me. I’ve never had a pet so I kneeled down and carefully ruffled the cat’s fur. It curred in contentment. “Do you have a message for me?”, I asked whereupon the cat stared at me from its murky eyes as if it understood what I had said. And it probably could.

With a smooth movement, the cat had sat up and strutted through the corridor. I followed it and together we entered the escalator. Beyond us, there were the mural paintings again but I forced myself to walk past them. Just now, I realized how quiet it was. There probably weren’t living many Nephilim in the Institute. When we exited the escalator on the first level – well the cat exited smoothly while I stumbled behind it – my stomach suddenly contracted and I felt the fear that spread in my body. Just now, I conceived that in some minutes I would meet the other Shadowhunters. This mysterious cat was probably guiding me directly to them. _They will hate me_ , I thought and my legs started to tremble. My father had taught me everything about battle, weapons and survival but he never taught me how to solve interpersonal conflicts. I’d never spoken to other Nephilim except for Maryse but my mother had done the most part of that conversation. How should I show them that I wasn’t the person they expected me to be? How should I prove that my intentions weren’t evil?

Occasionally, we met other Shadowhunters but all of them too old to train with me. Still, they eyed me as if I just fell from the moon. They probably didn’t get newcomers very often here. Or was my ancestry so obvious that they’d directly recognized me? I sighed demotivated.   
  


Panic grew inside my chest. I wasn’t ready for this. They would hate me. Only for the reason that Valentine was my father. But maybe I shouldn’t judge prematurely, I’ve never had any contact to other Shadowhunters after all. Maybe they weren’t even eager to do me harm.  
  


I swallowed as the cat came to a halt. In front of us, there was a leaf door. _I guess this is it_ , I thought. With my trembling hand I reached out for the door knob. “Must’ve been a pleasure to meet Church. Don’t fall for his charm, he actually is a grumpy tomcat. You must be new one.” Startled, I turned around.

A boy in my age was leaning against the wall. His hair was the brightest blonde that I’ve ever seen and his eyes, that seemed to be made of liquid gold, dilated for a short moment and then he stared at me, a small smile on his lips. My heart missed a beat.

To my immense frustration, I remained totally silent. No word would escape my lips. Embarrassed, I gaped at him with widened eyes and felt like an idiot. What was going on with me? As soon as he knew my name he’d stop joking with me.

When the boy saw the look in my eyes, his smile turned into a self-assured grin. He wore a Shadowhunter gear and one could see parts of his runes at the top end of his shirt as he leaned in my direction. His eyes flashed mischievously. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention to rattle you through my simple presence. But don’t worry, most girls react even worse than you did. Oh, by the way, I’m Jace, Jace Herondale.”

Again, I couldn’t react. My muscles suddenly seemed as heavy as iron. But it wasn’t due to his enormously arrogant words. His name felt like a punch in my stomach. I vaguely remembered my mother’s words. _I wasn’t the only one Valentine fed with angelic blood. Stephen Herondale, Valentine’s first officer, died in an attack against vampires. Céline … she was only a young girl, she couldn’t bear it. She died shortly after giving birth to a healthy baby-boy. She named him Jonathan, after our Jonathan._ Jonathan. Jace. Jace Herondale was Jonathan. This was bad. Really bad.

Again, panic rose in my body. I couldn’t tell him my name. He surely knew what had happened. He surely knew whose indirect fault his mother’s death was. Slowly, Jace Herondale’s expression changed and he gave me a confused look. “Are you shy? Don’t be, I can be very nice when I want to. Although, you seem a little pale around your nose. I hope my perfect appearance isn’t the reason! C’mon, tell me your name.” He wanted to sound confident but there was a touch of wonder in his voice.

I took a deep breath and tried to slow down my heartbeat. I thought about the plan to stake everything on one card. I forced a smile on my face. “Hi, my name is Cla-“

“Hey, Jace”, a voice suddenly called. Both of us turned around. A tall boy with black hair ran towards us and came to a standstill in front of Jace. For a second, he looked at me in curiosity. His neck was full of runes and his eyes of a deep blue. Then he turned to Jace, and I was spared for some more moments. Whatever he’d meant to say would remain a secret, because he directly changed the topic. “Who is she?”, he asked Jace and I narrowed my eyes. It seemed unpolite to me, to talk about someone in third person who stood right beside him. His voice was lower than Jace’s.

“Ask her herself”, Jace shot back and both of them turned to me. My eyes wandered through the corridor and I realized that Church was nowhere to be seen. The stupid cat had left me alone. My spirit was gone.

“I’m the new girl”, I muttered. “And who are you?” I darted a penetrable look at the boy with the black hair.

He cleared his throat and his face lit up in kindness. “I’m Alec Lightwood. You must’ve already met my mother yesterday. She just told me, some minutes earlier, that you’ve arrived yesterday evening.” He slightly smiled.

Shyly and unsecure, I returned the smile. “That’s right, Maryse showed us around a bit. But I don’t know how to find my way around without Church. This place is so different from Idris.” I uncertainly viewed him and observed Jace’s dissatisfied face-expression. He was probably offended because I was easily talking to Alec, and hadn’t brought out a single word when he’d talked to me.

“Where’s Isabelle?”, he asked instead and put on a cool countenance. His eyes wandered over my head into the corridor, as if there was someone standing behind me.

“She’s in the kitchen already”, Alec mumbled, disinterested. Alec might’ve been good looking, but he seemed invisible next to Jace. I barely saw Alec. Even when I straightly looked at him, I only saw Jace. I wondered at myself. I probably still feared his reaction when he’d find out my name.

As if he was able to read my thoughts, his eyes met mine with apparent disinterest. “I still want to know your name or should I call you _new girl_ for the rest of your life?” His question rather sounded like a threat.

I didn’t know why, but his arrogant and sudden disinteresting appearance made me furious. I slightly twisted the corner of my mouth, which didn’t slip his attention, while the grin returned all at once. “My name?” He nodded and Alec watched us in silence. “My name is Clarissa -Clary- Morgenstern.” I bit on my lip and studied Jace, while the connotation of my name reached his mind.

Alec took a sharp breath and threw a worried gaze at Jace. He must knew the truth about Jace’ past. _Actually he mustn’t know,_ I thought saddened. Everyone knew my father. The name Morgenstern represented devastation and bloodlust. But despite all of my presentiments, I wasn’t prepared for Jace’ reaction.

Firstly, he flinched, stepped back, and stared at me with a wild expression. The gold in his eyes had frozen and a moment later, faster as any other Shadowhunter, he pushed me against the wall, a dagger at my throat. “You dare to show up in a public institution of the Clave?”, he hissed, the friendly and funny boy had disappeared.

I didn’t dare to move, and just stared at him in shock. His hand pushed my arm behind my back and I felt the dagger, featherlight and razor-sharp, at my throat. It hurt. But what hurt much more was, that he reminded me of Jonathan. This pain was worse than the dagger, which would probably slite my throat.

I felt the tear that rolled down my cheek and he saw it too. “Does it hurt?” He squeezed the dagger closer to my skin, but I barely felt anything.

“Jace, stop it”, Alec said to my surprise. His voice sounded calm and controlled. “My mother wouldn’t let her and her mother stay, if they had bad intentions.”

But Jace’ rage only seemed to increase. “What does Maryse know! She could be wrong.”

“Let me go”, I said and tried to look him in the eyes. “You won’t gain anything from killing me, my father’s still alive and out there. And if you feel the desire to kill me, you will have the opportunity to do so.” Then I kicked him. As heavy as I could, and at the same spot that my father had taught me. It was strange to use his techniques under these circumstances.

Jace stumbled backwards and I used my chance to free my arm. Then, I pushed him away from me with all my power. I turned to the side and stepped backwards.  
  


His eyes rested on me, angrily, but he didn’t attack me again. There probably weren’t many Nephilim more powerful than him. Fortunately, Alec decided to step in at this moment. “Come with me, Clary. We’ll show you, where to get something to eat. I’m sorry he attacked you, but your father-“

I raised my hand and interrupted him. “I know what my father has done”, I muttered and gave Jace a regretful look. He took another step back, as if it wasn’t safe being too close to me. He flashed at me, I couldn’t blame him for it, but it still hurt. I’d known that the Shadowhunters would meet me with disgust and anger, but still, I hadn’t been prepared for such hostility. I sighed and followed Alec with fast steps, but felt Jace’ gaze in my back. It was uncomfortable to walk in front of him.

Alec stood next to the leaf door, which was open now. He held it open and portended us to enter the room. I nodded in his direction and went through the door, to finally escape Jace’ gaze.

The room which I entered was smaller than expected. It consisted of a kitchen and a long table with chairs on both sides of it. And in the middle of the kitchen stood a true beauty. She was very tall for a girl, slim but mesomorphic. One could spot the muscles in her arms, which were covered with black runes. She had a perfect face with round black eyes and wonderful black hair, that curled on her shoulders. She had to be Isabelle, Alec’s sister. One could directly tell, because they looked very similar. She raised her head, while hearing someone enter the room, but the smile on her lips froze the moment her eyes met my appearance.

“Who is she?” Scorn and annoyance resonated in her voice. Isabelle looked past me, at Alec, who had entered the room after Jace.

Before I had the opportunity to open my mouth, Jace had already preempted me. “She’s Clarissa Morgenstern.” He literally spat the words in disgust. I tried to ignore him, but when Isabelle screwed up her face, I finally realized that nobody would welcome me here. The way she’d eyed me, when I’d entered the room, just underlined that matter of fact. When it came to her, it probably even had nothing to do with my name or origin. She looked like the kind of girl, that didn’t want other girls to enter her territory.

“Well … hi Clarissa, my name’s Isabelle”, she said without acknowledging me at all. She stepped next to Jace, who had sat down on one of the chair’s, and patted his back apologetically. “I already had breakfast and left something for you. But I wasn’t prepared for a newcomer, so there isn’t enough for everybody, sorry.” There was no spark of regret in her voice.

I only shrugged my shoulders. “No problem, I’m not hungry anyway”, I said calmly. I felt out of place, standing in this kitchen made me completely uncomfortable. Isabelle threw a snappish look in my direction, and sat down next to Jace and Alec. She didn’t seem to like my answer.

With a sudden creak, the wooden doors opened again and a older man strutted in. He had grey hair and wore a grey suit. “Good morning, my friends”, he said with a calming voice and smiled. The others gave him a short nod, then he saw me and walked towards me. “Clary, I’m so happy to finally meet you in person.”

Surprised, I looked at him, as well as the others, who watched us stunned. Jace pressed his teeth together and a disgusted sound escaped his lips. “Everything must be so confusing for you, I’m aware of that. My name is Hodge, I’m the tutor of this Institute and will train you from now on.” He gave me a beaming smile and put out his hand in a friendly gesture.

I regarded him and then shook his hand, while giving him a haunted smile. After today’s chaos, I was totally sure that I would never immerse myself in this. Not after all the hostility of the past half an hour. They didn’t want me here and I’d accepted that. The name Morgenstern weighed heavily on my shoulders, but I couldn’t run away from my destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the new chapter :)


	4. Chapter 4 - Bad News

** Chapter 4 - Bad News**

We sat together in the sports hall. Isabelle, Alec, Jace and I settled on a blue training pad, all of us were armed with serpahblades. Between me and them was a gap of five feet. Hodge stood some metres in front of us while he questioned me about my previous training procedure. His suit as well as his hair had the same color as his eyes. It radiated quiet and I liked it.

„Well, Clary, tell me something about your training. What did you do? Do you remember what you did the last time?” He gave me a warm smile and I could tell that he’d give me time to answer.

Of course, I remembered my last training. Jonathan had almost killed me then. _Then_. It had happened two days ago. Now, it seemed like a lifetime ago. How could I lose track of time? I needed to clear my thoughts. My dreams were so vivid lately that sometimes, I wasn’t sure if something had really happened or I’d just imagined it.

I lead my thoughts to the uncountable amount of lessons Jonathan and I had spent learning about weapons and combat techniques as well as subjects as geography or biology. Valentine had taught us everything possible, even human psychology and the easiest ways to understand a human mind and how to manipulate it. I wasn’t sure if I should really mention all those things. When I closed my eyes, I could already see the horrified and disgusted looks the others would give me.

With a sigh, I started to explain the past eighteen years as short as possible. “My father mostly taught us combat techniques with and without weapons. Then weaponry and survival in nature. These were the most important subjects in our schedule. But we also learned languages as French, German and Spanish and subjects like geography, mathematics and all the sciences.” I didn’t dare turning my head in their direction when I spoke. My eyes were fixed on the corner of Hodge’s shoe. Still, I saw Jace’s face-expression screw up.

For a couple of seconds, Hodge’s eyes wandered through the hall. “Tell me more about the combat techniques. I’m pretty sure that you’re very advanced for your age but I need to know some details so I know exactly how much ahead you are”, he said after some time of obvious thinking. Isabelle snorted after his remark.

“He taught us martial arts as karate, judo and aikido. We focused on different kinds of offensive and defensive attacks but also trained to control our mind. Concentration plays a very important role in sparring. When our mind is absent, the fight is already lost. I shouldn’t have problems in those areas”, I told Hodge. I tried to let my voice sound neutral but I couldn’t help to feel proud of the high standard my training had in comparison to theirs. I was aware that no other Shadowhunter could keep pace with my training achievements.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the concerned look Alec and Isabelle threw at me as if I was going to attack them at any moment. I knew that they shouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable but I couldn’t help it. _Never let them have power over your feelings._

“We?“, asked Alec in a surprised and alarmed tone. Now, I turned my head in his direction. He seemed speechless.

I sighed and immediately knew that my following words would upset them even more. As if one Morgenstern wasn’t enough. „I have an older brother, we were both skilled by my father.” Jonathan’s face in my head deflated me. My lungs screamed for air but it felt like there was no oxygen left to breath.

This revelation seemed to knock their socks off. I could see their face darken in dismay when the meaning of my words reached their minds. They didn’t liked the thought of another Morgenstern child being somewhere outside the Institute, somewhere out of their reach. Only Hodge kept a straight face, he probably didn’t want to offend me.

“You … have a brother?”, Jace asked, his voice full of horror. He didn’t raise his head though, he continued staring at the floor while balancing the seraphblade in his right hand. 

“His name is Jonathan”, I whispered and pressed my lips together. _And your mother named you after him._ A cold feeling spread in my veins. In front of my mind’s eye, there was the forest again. His dark eyes, which were full of anger, rested on me and the sound of him baring his teeth resonated in my head.

Before Jonathan had changed, we had been one soul, one team. Nothing had been able to separate us. Not even my father could win a fight against the two of us. He’d always protected me, had always comforted me and had done everything imaginable to make me happy. Nevertheless, he had been a honorable worrier. And now he was gone. Now, these Shadowhunters would make fun of him and badmouth his name.

Jace hissed in disgust. He’d stopped balancing the blade and clutched its hilt instead. One could see the tendons under his skin as he tensed his arm. _Like tightropes._ Jace’s cheeks turned red and it looked as if he tried to hold back his emotions. “Your brother”, he spat. “I’d like to get to know him. You know why?”

I didn’t answer but my eyes rested on him. “So I can stab this sword in his stomach, turn it around while it’s still in his body and watch the blood escaping his dead corpus.” It was the first time since we’d met today that he sounded satisfied.

  
“Shut your mouth”, I growled and clenched my fingers together. I felt the red wave of fury capturing me and I wasn’t sure if _I_ could control my emotions for any longer. “You have no right to talk about him like that. You wouldn’t be able to defeat him anyway.”  
  
Beyond us, the roof beams creaked and when I looked up, I saw a bird sitting on one of them. The training room was very large, probably to allow movements which otherwise would be possible only in the open.

Isabelle gave Alec a look I couldn’t construe. “I can start with you, if you like”, said Jace and quickly jumped on his feet. He moved towards me and a second later I was up myself, balancing the seraphblade between my fingers like a toy.

“Stop it.” Hodge’s voice remained totally calm as if nothing was going to happen. He watched us while we stood in front of each other, both armed and both willing to end this conflict right now. I knew of course that I had no right to harm him, he wanted to kill me but he had a reason to do so. I didn’t.

Slowly, the anger’s heat left my body and I realized that this wasn’t the time for us to behave like children. With a sight, I dropped my blade, looked him in the eye and sat down again. If he decided to kill me now, I probably wouldn’t be able to defend myself.

“Jace”, Isabelle softly called him. “Let her be, she isn’t worth it.” Jace looked down on me with his golden eyes. I couldn’t see any emotion in them. We stared at one another for a couple of minutes. Then, he actually turned around and went back to Alec and Isabelle.

Hodge continued as if nothing had happened. “So you have a brother”, he carefully began. “Why isn’t he here with you?”

Was it okay to tell them the truth? Was I even allowed to do so? I didn’t know but I thought that it would be better for them to hear the truth out of my mouth. I didn’t want them to hear it from a third source, I would stand there as a liar. “He isn’t in the condition to separate good and bad anymore. My father made a lot of experiments, hoping a powerful worrier would be the outcome. For one of his experiments he received demonic blood from a very special demon. Valentine used the blood to change my brother, he poisoned him. My brother is dead now but the demon wearing his face still calls me his sister. Jonathan is evil now and driven by hatred. We had to escape him, otherwise we’d probably be dead by now.”  
  
For a long time, nobody said anything. Hodge had lowered his head and the others stared dead ahead. Then Alec rose to speak. “You escaped your brother because otherwise you’d be dead by now. Why?”

I didn’t look at him when I answered. “Jonathan tried to kill me. My father was there and just watched as he stabbed me with a dagger. He’d let his own daughter die to study Jonathan’s behavior. We couldn’t stay.”

Jace raised his head and his eyes rested on me again. He still kept a straight face but I could see a spark underneath his mask. “Your brother tried to kill you?”

Absent, I nodded and in front of my inner eye, I saw the golden dagger which was only inches away from my throat.

“Your father- Valentine, he is a monster. He trained both of you as killer machines. How should we know that you and your mother tell the truth when you say that you’re not on his side anymore?” Isabelle fixed her eyes on me which were soaked in suspicion. Her lips twisted to a threatening mask. “I swear by the angels that I’ll kill you if you try to lay a finger on any of us.” This wasn’t a threat, it was a statement.

“Enough now“, Hodge said and clapped his hands. The bird dropped from the roof beam and for a second I thought it had fell but then its wings spread and it landed on Hodge’s shoulder. “It’s time to start with today’s training.”  
  


oOo

  
After the training, I followed Hodge into the library. Isabelle, Alec and Jace had ignored me the rest of the time. It had been better that way. Better than suffering under their hostile remarks. I wondered where my mother was right now. Half the day was over and I hadn’t seen her yet.  
  
The Institute was huge. The walls were higher than in usual churches and the ceilings were full of mural paintings. As if we weren’t in New York but in Versailles. The library was its own world. Its entrance consisted of two massive red leaf-doors and it was situated in an own corridor, apart from the other rooms.  
  


I entered the library behind Hodge and my gaze immediately fell on sized bookshelves with lots of colorful books. The number of books was overwhelming. After we passed the door, we were standing on a small balcony from where one could view every corner of the library. There were stairs on both sides of the balcony which lead down to the actual level. The library was divided in two parts which looked exactly the same. They were situated on the left and right side of the balcony. On both sides between the bookshelves were small circular staircases that connected the first with the second floor. In comparison with the first floor, the second was very small and only consisted of two balconies, one on each side of the divided library. Between the separated parts of the room stood a huge desk with books, papers and other things on it. Left to the desk was a birdcage which didn’t look often used. A great and comfortable-looking armchair was situated behind the desk as well as two sofas were, at the end of the room under a large tessellated window. It showed the archangel Raziel in lots of different colors.

As we walked down the balcony’s stairs, I noticed that two women were sitting on the sofas. When we came closer, I recognized Maryse and my mother. “Clary, darling, I’m happy to see you”, said Jocelyn and raised her hand in my direction. She hugged me after I’d sat down next to her. Halfhearted, I hugged her back while I thought of the other Shadowhunters. How should I tell her about my day without making both of us feel uncomfortable?

  
“Glad to see you too”, I whispered and tried to give her a smile. It failed and she saw it. “Clary”, she sighed and turned to face me. “Tell me what happened.” At first, I didn’t want to tell her about the last couple of hours at all but it made no sense. It was clear from the beginning that no one would welcome us with open arms.

I shrugged and leaned my head against the headrest pad while my eyes wandered around the ceiling. “Nothing special”, I explained. “Just what we were expecting. It had been okay at first but after I told them my name, it was over.”

“This doesn’t sound great”, she tried to give me an encouraging smile but she seemed to be rather unhappy too. “Time will pass and if you’re lucky, they might start to like you after a while. When they realize that you don’t have a lot in common with your father.” She stroke my hair in a comforting manner.  
  
I nodded. Maybe she was right although it was hard to believe right now. Then, Jace appeared in front of my inner eye again. “Did you know that Jace Herondale lives here?”

My mother bit her lip and lowered her eyes. “Yes”, she admitted. “He was adopted by Maryse and Robert, I told you the story.” Of course, I remembered this part of her story, it had come to my mind earlier when I’d met him the first time. Although I knew the story, I somehow forgot that he would _actually_ live here.

“Sorry that I have to interrupt”, Maryse began to speak and her eyes met mine. I totally forgot that she was sitting here with us too. I looked through the room and found Hodge in his armchair. His back was turned on us as he was writing something. “Hodge brought you for a reason. It’s very important for you to hear this. Valentine took another step into the public’s eye.”

The moment I heard my father’s name, my head snapped in her direction. “What happened?” Just now, I noticed another silhouette behind the sofa. According to its broad shoulders, the person was probably a man. When nobody answered my question the shadow stood up and light fell on him. He was a man indeed, a young man actually.

  
Maryse must have seen his movement out of the corners of her eyes because she now turned to him with a serious look on her face. “This is Adam”, she said and pointed at the young man who now stood some metres away from me. He was taller than her by a head and wore a black coat over his Shadowhunter gear. My gaze met a pair of dark-green eyes and I almost opened my mouth in surprise because they were so similar to mine.

The boy, Adam, couldn’t be much older than me. He smirked lightly but there was a sad expression in his eyes. “Hi”, he greeted me and ruffled through his dark brown hair. “I’m Adam Demonhunter from the London Institute” He put out his hand and I took it with some hesitation. His handshake was surprisingly cold as if there was no blood in his veins.  
  
I sighed disillusioning because now would come the part where I had to tell him my name. In my mind, I already saw him taking a step back, disgusted. “Well hello, my name is Clary Morgenstern.” I didn’t smile while I observed him. I wasn’t the smiling kind of girl anyway.

But Adam surprised me. His smile grew bigger and he nodded. “Of course, I already know that”, he responded, pleased. “I already had the pleasure to meet your mother, after all.” Adam had a slight British accent. “I just arrived from the Institute in London. Usually, I live here in New York but I visited my family.”  
  
“But he had to return to New York because the Institute was attacked by Valentine and Jonathan Morgenstern”, Maryse remarked, she was obviously in a hurry to end this conversation. “London was lucky, its protection walls are very strong. They didn’t succeed entering the Institute. So they changed their plan and killed lots of Downworlders instead who were living all around the city.” Maryse stopped when she saw my face.

We were here in New York, safe for now, while Valentine and Jonathan marched through Europe, killing innocent living beings no matter if Shadowhunter or Downworlder. “We have to do something”, I burst out. “We can’t just sit here and do nothing! This is my family murdering innocent people!” I looked at my mother in despair. Deep in my heart, I knew that there was nothing we could do right now.

“Clary, darling”, my mother said and stroked my shoulder. “You know your dad. When he once sets his mind on doing something, he won’t stop until he reaches his goal.” The library was completely silent. Not even Hugo, who still sat on Hodge’s shoulder, made a sound. Adam avoided any eye-contact with me.

I knew what she wanted to say: My father would go through hell to find us. He would turn every stone on earth if he had to. If he had to, he would burn down every single Institute, kill everyone, regardless if Nephilim or Downworlder, while we thought ourselves safe. But this safety wouldn’t last forever. It was just a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the new chapter! :)


	5. Chapter 5 - Convinced of the Good

** Chapter 5 - Convinced of the Good **

After the meeting in the library, I needed some time alone. I was sitting on one of the roof beams in the training hall, about eight metres above the ground and stared at the roof beam closest to me. It wasn’t very comfortable up here but at least there was nobody who could bother me.

When I looked down to the blue training pads, I automatically had to think about tomorrow and my next training lesson. There was no way to imagine that I would have to train together with them every day from now on. Until what? Until they finally realized I actually wasn’t that bad? I doubted that this moment would ever happen, especially with Jace.

„Hey!“, called a voice from down below. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I winced. In a mixture of surprise and resentment, I lowered my head to see the person who had disturbed me. At first, the only thing I saw was someone completely dressed in black, then I recognized his brown hair. Adam. Puzzled, I stared down at him. “What do you want?”

Adam started to grin and ran his fingers through his hair. “To be honest, I don’t know. I saw you earlier when you rushed out of the library. And I heard what you said to your mother.” He paused and shrugged. “About the others and that you had a rather rough day.”  
  


Adam stood in the doorframe and was leaning against the wall. He looked at me with widened eyes, he had stopped grinning during his speech. “Okay”, I said, unsure what to say at all. “But this doesn’t really explain what you’re doing here right now, does it?” I crossed my arms and leaned backwards to balance my weight on the truss.

“You have to understand that Jace’ past is a topic he never discusses”, he said and moved closer. “He knows what happened with his family and when someone wants to speak about it, he is quick in making you understand that the topic is a taboo issue. Your attendance in the Institute forces him to face his past. Every time he sees you, he’ll be reminded of your father and what he did, it’s comprehensible of course. And Isabelle and Alec will always follow Jace, they’re his siblings.”

I nodded. “You’re probably right. I barely know him, any of them. I don’t want him to suffer because of me but there was no other option for me. We had to come here. And I understand his pain, I really do but the thought that I’ll have to see them every day… They’ll make me feel horrible every day.” With a smooth jump, I broke away from the roof beam and a second later, my feet touched the training pad. I didn’t know why I told him about my feelings. It was weak and he was a stranger. Maybe _because_ he was a stranger … It made it easier somehow.

“Maybe the wound you caused will heal some time. I can’t tell, nobody can”, Adam answered. He came to a halt next to the pads and examined me. “I am here because I have no bound to Jace. We’re friends somehow but I don’t feel the horror he feels. I am able to see you, Clary. A girl who fled her father for a reason. This might sound weird but I want to give you a chance because I believe that everyone deserves one.”

His words made me look up in astonishment. Now, he left _me_ speechless. “Thank you, Adam. This honors me, really, but it wouldn’t benefit your relationship to Jace.” I couldn’t imagine being friends with Adam. He seemed friendly sure but … I couldn’t tell what bothered me. His whole appearance … The way he followed me … The way he talked behind Jace’ back.

“Don’t let it trouble you”, he said and smiled. “Our relationship was difficult anyway. I’m not saying that I don’t like him but the Lightwoods keep to themselves mostly.”

“The Lightwoods? But Jace isn’t a Lightwood.” Questioning, I raised my eyebrow.

“Yeah, I know that but he’s part of their family”, Adam explained and shrugged. “They adopted him as you know so he’s a Lightwood in some way.”

I looked at him and didn’t know what to say. “Thank you, Adam. For your … _offer_. To be honest, I don’t believe it would be a good idea to be friends with me. I’m a Morgenstern after all.”

Adam laughed and nodded slowly. “I know who you are and I can image that it’s hard to open yourself to others. As your mother told me earlier, you’ve never met other Shadowhunters. You’ve never experienced a friendship and the responsibilities which come along with it-“

“You don’t know anything”, I hissed in irritation. “Don’t act like you know me or my family.”

Adam raised his hands in a calming manner. “Yes, you’re right of course. I didn’t mean to enrage you, I’m sorry. What I mean is- Give me a chance, Clary. Give me a chance to be your friend and if you don’t like it, then I’ll stop immediately. Just give me one chance.”

My eyes cut away from him and wandered through the room. I didn’t want to look at this nice guy with the pretty face. The anger was gone but he was right: I didn’t know anything about friendship. I didn’t know anything about social interaction at all. With a sigh, I met his eyes again. “One chance”, I responded and instantly knew that this would be enough to convince me of Adam. He already looked like a very friendly and dedicated man, probably very influencing too. My father had always warned us not to trust the decidedly friendly ones.

A smile spread on Adams face and he moved a step closer. “You’ll see”, he said and beckoned me over. “Are you hungry?”

His question took me off guard. “Hungry?” Now that he had reminded me of food I actually felt my empty stomach contract of hunger. “I’m _starved_.”

“Me too, let’s go to the kitchen. Come on.” Adam was already standing in the doorframe and glanced at me. Slowly, my feet followed him into the hallway. I still didn’t know what to think about this. _We will find out soon_ , I guessed.

“So you’ve already met the others?”, he asked as we walked through the corridor. “I heard you talking to your mother about it earlier in the library.”

  
“Yeah”, I stated and tried not to let him notice that his slowly pace deeply annoyed me. “Jace seemed very nice but was eager to know my name and when I finally told him … I couldn’t lie, if I had he would’ve been even more furious. He hates me for the felonies my father had committed.” The irony of my words was unmistakable.

  
For a moment, it seemed as if he was thinking about something but a second later he turned his head in my direction and gave me a smile. “How about we get something to eat and you tell me the whole story?”

“The whole story?” I hesitated and for the first time, I had to keep pace with him. “What story?”  
  


“The story of your life, I guess”, he answered carefully. “Shouldn’t friends know something about each other? I’m not expecting a full-detailed story but _some_ facts at least. I’m just curious about you. Get to know a Morgenstern is rare these days.”

“We’ll see”, I said. “Depends on the questions you have.”

Together we entered the golden elevator which took us to the first floor. Adam guided me through long corridors and sometimes drew my attention to special exhibits, like old weaponry which had belonged to great warriors once. When he showed me a painting, I came to a halt. It showed Alicante, the demontowers were unmistakable and seemed to be glowing even in the painting. The picture mesmerized me so much that Adam had to raise his voice to bring me back to the present.

“What’s the matter?”, he asked and eyed me curiously.

“I like painting”, I admitted and moved closer to the piece of art. “I never got the chance to pursue my passion because my father disapproved it. In his eyes, it had no adding value for my training. _One cannot kill somebody with a brush_ , was his main argument.” I tried to replicate my father’s voice as good as possible.

“I’m sorry”, he said after a while of silence. “We could surely provide you with the right tools here, you could start to draw if you like.”

I gave him a surprised look. “Do you really think this would be possible? But even when I had the right tools, I could never paint as my mother. She is an artist, my father allowed her to paint.”

Adam shrugged. “What does it matter? You never had the chance to take lessons, how could you be better than her? I believe that it’s not important anyway if you’re phenomenal as long as the occupation brings you joy.”

“If my father could hear you”, I said, shook my head and smiled. “He would probably behead you. When my brother or I weren’t able to manage a task as perfect as he demanded us to, we had to practice as long as it took us to master it. No excuses.”

“So you’re probably the best Shadowhunter in the world”, he joked, and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Yes, I probably am”, I said with pure severity in my voice. Why should I hide it from him? It was the truth.

My words made the smirk disappear, and he gave me a look from the side. “Is it true that he drilled you to be emotionless killers? It’s a rumour that goes around.”

“He trained us to be better than ordinary Nephilim could ever be. My brother and I passed through a special training which is much more detailed, time-consuming and exhausting than the training you receive from the Clave”, I explained, and watched him turning paler with every word I said.

“Wow”, he mumbled after a while. “He must be very pissed that you’re gone. Spending years to fit you for his plan, and now you just pack your bags and leave.” Somehow his thoughts brought the smile back on his face.

I remained silent. Now, that he had put it in a nutshell like this, I suddenly realized that it was completely true. He had spent years to teach us all the things we had to know. All the time he invested in me, all this time was worthless now.

I kept silent until we arrived at the kitchen. “Come on.” Adam didn’t hesitate, and directly disappeared through the leaf door. For a moment, I indecisively stood in front of the door, and thought about today’s morning. Even if any of them was behind this door, it wouldn’t matter because Adam wanted me to be here. It didn’t matter what Jace would think.

  
When I perceived the sound of clattering dishes, my hunger piped up again. And the hunger was stronger than my fear of Jace Herondale, wasn’t it? Slowly, I entered the kitchen and ascertained to my great relief that Jace or any other Shadowhunter wasn’t present. Except for Adam.

He stood next to the refrigerator, smiling at the sight of something. “Someone has to get new food”, he said, and his head disappeared as he bended forward. Utensils were laying on the counter behind him, and he balanced two plates in his left hand. “But we’ll find something eatable.”

I watched him curiously, and sat down on a bar chair which stood in front of the counter. Adam closed the refrigerator with different groceries in his hand. “Okay, since this is your first time in New York, I’m going to cook you one of our specialties. Just lean back, watch me and take pot luck!”

And his words actually made me laugh. “Now, I’m truly curious about the outcome”, I said, and watched him prepare the groceries. There was salad, funny-looking bread, thin slices of meat which looked odd to me, sauces in plastic containers and a colorful bag of frozen … potatoes which were also very funny-looking.

  
“You seem … experienced in cooking”, I noticed as he went to the sink to wash the salad.

Adam nodded absently. Small water drops flew over his hands. “That’s probably because I’d to play babysitter for my younger siblings when I still lived in London. My parents are very busy Shadowhunters and travel a lot.” The story didn’t seem to displease him. I couldn’t imagine him being a big brother. Immediately, I had to think of Jonathan.

“How many siblings do you have?”, I asked, and instantly felt bad for my curiosity.

He didn’t seem to mind it, and smiled when he returned to the counter. “Three”, he said in a sigh. “The eldest is sixteen and the youngest seven.”

“That sounds … very exhausting”, I concluded.

He laughed and shook his head with a smile on his face while he cut the salad. “Mostly yes, but they’re good kids. We had very much fun together. It felt good to be a person others look up to.”

“Why did you leave then? I mean, you moved to New York, didn’t you?”

“When a Shadowhunter attains full age one gets the opportunity to move around the world for some years, or settle down in another Institute. Mostly, it’s intended for the teenagers living in Alicante because they rarely get in touch with the mundane world, but others who already live in an Institute can participate as well. That’s the reason why I moved to New York. I actually wanted to move to the Institute in Shanghai, but my Mandarin was far from good-enough.” A nervous laugh escaped his lips, and I had so smile as well.

While he continued to prepare the meal, he called specialty, I wandered around the kitchen. I could use this moment to get to know the kitchen. It would be useful for future breakfasts or diners when Adam wasn’t around to cook something for me. There were mostly dishes in the kitchen shelves, others were filled with instant-meals and seasonings. My hand already grasped for the next shelf when Adam’s voice tried to stop me. But it was too late. The moment my fingers closed around the grip, the shelf took off its hinges. The bolts that had been supposed to keep door and shelf together loosened themselves. The shelf’s door fell on the ground with a loud bang.

“By the angel, what-“ The quick occurrence had surprised me so much that I jumped backwards, startled, directly in Adam.

“This is the shelf nobody ever opens”, he stuffed the empty space with chatter and stepped aside.

Embarrassed, my eyes cut away and I flushed. My cheeks were glowing, and I had to turn my head away. “I’m sorry”, I uttered, and lifted the loosen door from the ground.

“Somebody will have to repair this now”, he noticed, smirked and turned to the counter again. “It won’t be us, though. Just put it aside, somewhere where it’s clearly visible but doesn’t bother us.”

Laughing, I put the door away and eyed the open shelf on the wall with certain amusement. “This can’t be overlooked”, I pointed out. “There is a huge open shelf, with no door!” Both of us laughed, and suddenly I realized that it actually felt very good. Spending time with Jonathan had been fun, but this right here was something new, and although I had felt rather unsure about this an hour ago, I knew that this friendship would do me good. This was what I needed.

“Keep calm, Morgenstern”, Adam said without looking at me. His eyes were fixed on the meat slices which were roasting in a pan. 

  
“How did you just call me?” With narrowed eyes, I threw him a look.

Stunner flashed over his face, but he quickly recovered and finally raised his head. The meat was sizzling in the pan and its smell let my mouth water in hunger. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. It’s just the New York slang, you know. They often call each other by their surname”, he quickly explained and shrugged his shoulders.

With a sigh, I leaned against the counter. “I want to see the city”, I said. “New York, it looks so beautiful and I’ve never seen anything like this. It somehow reminds me of Alicante.” Longing resonated in my voice.

Adam’s eyes widened. “You’ve been in Alicante?”

“No”, I was fast to answer. “Never. My father didn’t allow it. Sometimes we were allowed to take a look from afar. I’d never forget the sight of Alicante.”

He nodded, but remained silent. Some minutes later he served me a hot plate. “And here we have a classic hamburger with french-fries and ketchup!” He beamed at me in pride. The hamburger consisted of top and bottom of white bread with a slice of meat, salad and red sauce between them. Steaming potatoes which were long and thin were prepared next to it. I’d never seen something comparable before. Until now, I had always eaten fresh products from our own garden as well as meat, milk and bread. Easy dishes, nothing that looked as complicated as this burger. But the smell was overwhelming. It smelled savory and sweet at the same time and completely different than anything I’d ever eaten before. 

“Taste it”, Adam suggested with French-fries in his hands, dipping them in the red sauce. Slowly, I copied him. And he was right, it tasted absolutely fantastic. Now, that I had a taste of it I couldn’t get enough. The plate was empty soon enough, and my stomach felt full and heavy.

“It’s awesome but we don’t eat such stuff every day. The mundanes call it fast food”, he explained while taking the last bite of his burger. “Not the healthiest of all meals, but it was important that you tried it. You can try something else then, when I show you New York.”

At his words, I raised my head. “You want to show me New York?”

Adam nodded and carried our plates to the sink. “Of course, someone has to show it to you. Who knows how much time you have until the Clave orders you to Alicante.”

Again, he took me off guard. “What do you think, how long do I have until they’ll ask me to come?” He heard the fear in my voice and gave me a warm smile.

“I don’t know what your father told you about the Clave, but you don’t have to worry. There are laws which they’ll have to stick to. You arrived yesterday which means that they were probably told about you today. I’m not sure, but a couple of days, maybe three until you’ll receive an invitation.” I knew that they had to stick to their laws, but we weren’t just anybody, we weren’t ordinary criminals. We were Valentine Morgenstern’s family. I tried to imagine myself in their position. What would I do? If I was the consul or the inquisitor, I wouldn’t kill me or my mother, especially not my mother because she was one of them once, she could be argued with. I would question us with the Soul-Sword, and after I had all the important information … I didn’t know what I would do then. A sigh escaped my lips.

“Now, that we’re done eating, I’ll show you another place here in the Institute. I’m sure you’ll like it. Come on.” Adam’s words interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to the present. This wasn’t the time to think about the future. I could only wait.

With quick steps, I followed Adam into the hallway. “Tell me where we’re going”, I demanded with a soft voice while I tried to keep pace with him. He’d finally learned to move faster. We entered the elevator, and I glanced at his face. He seemed determined to remain silent about it. A mystical smile played around his lips and his green eyes flashed amused. “And why should I tell you?”

“Because”, I began, and emphasized the word’s pronunciation. “I barely know you. You could be a criminal taking advantage of my trust.” A light smile appeared on my lips, I couldn’t hide it.

  
Adam snorted. In this moment, the elevator’s door slid open, and a dark corridor was located in front of us. I studied Adam who entered the hallway and ran his fingers’ through his hair. His back was turned on me. With a quick glance in the blackness, I followed him as he stepped further in the dark until I could barely see his figure.

“Adam?” My voice echoed through the corridor, but I lost sight of him. “You know that it was only a joke.” If my words had really hurt him, he was a very silly guy. I never joked, I felt that it didn’t suit me, but I’d tried it anyway. And now he seemed to be offended by it.

“This isn’t funny”, I repeated when I got no answer. “Don’t act like a child, Adam.” Noiseless, I grabbed the dagger at my belt and balanced it between my fingers. _Better safe than sorry_. One of my father’s advices. I heard a hoarse laugh from afar, and then I was suddenly blinded by light. When my eyes got used to the brightness I recognized Adam five metres further with a stele in his hand. He had activated the witchlights. A sigh escaped my lips. Only now I noticed the fresh smell.

“Wow”, I whispered in astonishment. “This place is beautiful.” We were standing in a huge garden that reminded me of a greenhouse. There were plants everywhere. Only the smell was breathtaking.  
  


“See, I was right”, Adam said, and beckoned me to follow him. Together we walked between different types of flowers and grasses towards a tree that must have been ten metres high. It’s leaves flourished in a dark-green tone. Someone had built a staircase which convolved around the tree to another level.  
  


I took a deep breath, trying to inhale the scent forever. This was like a small part of Idris just in the middle of New York. A wave of nostalgia wanted me to return to Idris, but I knew that even if I returned, it would never be how it had been once. Especially now, I had to remain strong. I turned to Adam and smiled.  
  
  
To my surprise, he seemed to be overcome with his own memories. I could see it in his eyes. The way he fixed a point in the distance, although there was nothing to see there. The way he clutched his fingers to a fist. Gently, I touched his forearm. “This place is very lovely. I didn’t even know something like this existed at all.” I tried to sound calm and casual, but I could feel my fingers trembling.

  
  


  
Adam seemed to wake up from his trance and he looked down at me. His green eyes flashed in confusion, but his face expression recovered quickly. “New York is one of the few places outside Idris. And you’re right, this is a wonderful place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	6. Chapter 6 - Attack From Inside

** Chapter 6 - Attack From Inside **

  
  
After I have woken up, I tried to linger around as much as possible. Even if Adam was a friend now, I still didn’t want to train with the others. I also didn’t want to breakfast when there was a possibility that I would cross way with them.

Curiously, I regarded myself in the bathroom mirror. There were dark rings under my eyes. When would I finally stop to stay awake all night? Soft curls framed my cheeks and I was glad that my hair was still shining. As against my eyes which had lost their sparkle with our arrival in the Institute.

With a sigh, I averted my gaze. How could my mother remain so calm while Valentine and Jonathan were burning down Institutes and killing innocents? In contrast to her, I couldn’t stop imagining different scenarios in my head in which they finally found us here. Maybe she was frightened after all or she tried to suppress her thoughts about it.

Much too late, I finally stood in the kitchen and prepared myself something to eat. The damaged shelf door was still leaning against the wall where I had put it down yesterday. I enjoyed being here alone. There was nobody who could have told me that the name Morgenstern would weigh heavy on my shoulders forever. Ridiculous, as if I didn’t know that myself.

I didn’t need to glance at the clock to know that the training had already started. “Damn”, I whispered although I had known that I would come late since the moment my eyes had opened in the morning. Quickly, my legs brought me to the elevator and I wondered how I was even able to find my way around.

  
The door of the sports-hall creaked when I pushed it open. Instantly, all eyes fastened on me. Jace’s jolly look froze the second he recognized me. Alec and Isabelle ignored me and talked insistently to Jace. Adam sat a bit apart from the others. He gave me a light smile and beckoned me over to him.

His smile turned the balance. Suddenly, my fear vanished as quick as it had come. There was no reason to worry about the others. Adam was here and he was friendly. And with him between me and the others, I would survive my daily training. This was our last year anyway, we were all adults now. Nervously, I smiled back at him, crossed the hall and sat down next to him. I was anxious not to look at Jace while I passed him.  
  


When I had sat down, I nodded in Adam’s direction. The smile around his lips grew. “Your second day and you’re already coming late”, he muttered, still loud enough for the others to hear.  
  


I shrugged with my shoulders. “I was never allowed to lie in so I thought to give it a try.” My eyes wandered through the hall, searching for Hodge but he wasn’t present. “Where’s Hodge?”

Adam leaned back and rested upon his hands on the mat. “He forgot something in the library and went back to get it.” Again, he wore a black gear and his hair fell over his forehead in short curls.

“I cannot believe this”, barked Jace and pointed his finger at me. “She is a Morgenstern, Adam. Her father broke our codex. He killed innocent Shadowhunters and Downworlders. He betrayed our world!” Although his speech was directed to Adam, his golden eyes were accusingly fixed on me. In my mind, I saw our first encounter when he had smiled and had wanted to know my name. This moment seemed years away. It had been only _yesterday_.  
  


I didn’t know what to say because he was right somehow, and he didn’t want to hear my words anyway. I wanted to turn my back on him, and ignore him when Adam suddenly started to laugh. “Yes, you’re absolutely right, Jace. Valentine did a lot of horrible things but take a look”, he said amused and nodded in my direction. “Does she look like Valentine to you?”

Jace kept quiet. He watched Adam with a mixture of fury and bewilderment. “Obviously she doesn’t”, he finally said, but his voice continued to sound angry. “But it doesn’t change anything. She’s his daughter, his own flesh and blood. He had eighteen years to raise her. What do you think did he raise her to?”

“I see your point Jace, but it’s not that easy”, Adam calmly tried to argue. “You can’t just project him on Clary. He is her father, but it doesn’t mean she’s like him. Her mother’s Jocelyn after all, and she isn’t crazy.” I would have to thank him for this later. His words totally surprised me. Jace seemed to have another opinion about me.

  
“She might be this, she might be that… Wake up, Adam! How can we be safe for sure? She could be acting and fooling us the whole time. You can’t tell a hundred percent. Her father is emotionally disturbed and her brother is _seriously_ disturbed. Why shouldn’t she be too? It obviously runs in the family.” He crossed his arms and the seraphblade at his belt flashed in the witchlight.

He had absolutely no right to talk about Jonathan like that. I’d love nothing better than stand up and punch him in the face. So that everybody could see the bruise even days later. But I had no right to touch him either, so I closed my eyes and recalled Jonathan in my mind. I felt the lump turning back in my stomach.

  
“Seriously Jace, would you want that she or anybody else talks about you like that?” Adam spoke in a strict tone, like a father who reprimanded his son. “Would you like hearing others speak about your adoption or the fact that Valentine murdered your parents? I think nobody would want that, therefore please stop dragging others in the same position. Clary isn’t responsible for your pain, and she doesn’t deserve to hear what you-“

  
“You rotten _bastard_ ”, Jace had lunged himself at Adam. His voice was distorted by rage. Even Isabelle and Alec flinched. “How do you dare?!” Automatically, I backed away from him. This was the first time seeing him snap like this. At full tilt, his fists hammered on Adam’s face who didn’t defend himself, surprised. “Say something about my family again and I’ll kill you, Demonhunter!”

  
Adam, who still laid motionless underneath Jace, stiffened. Jace sat above him, with his knees on Adam’s upper arms, in order that he couldn’t move. It didn’t seem like Jace would give up his act of aggression anytime soon. I couldn’t say what had got into him, but nobody came to help Adam.

I turned my head to Alec and Isabelle who indecisively watched Jace. Isabelle held Alec back who had wanted to pull Jace back. Her eyes flashed irritated, but also anxious. She couldn’t hide it. And in this very moment, Hodge entered the room with a dozen of papers in his hands. The sound of Adam’s painful cries made him look up at once. His eyes widened at the sight of the boys.

“By the angel, what is going on here?” Hodge’s outraged shout hung in the air and I could hear its echo resound at the walls. But Jace didn’t pay it any attention. He continued punching Adam’s face which was already covered in blood. A gasp escaped his lips and it sounded like a drowning man taking a last breath. It felt like a trance when I turned back to Adam and Jace. I believed that he had broken Adam’s nose.

  
The moment of hesitation had passed and now I knew what to do. With a shout, I darted at Jace who apparently hadn’t expected my attack. I managed to get him down from Adam, and now he was laying on his own back. For a second, his golden eyes watched me calmly. Then he transformed into a wild animal again. He powerfully braced himself against me and tossed me off the pad with bare hands. I couldn’t keep back a gasp when my back met the tough ground. The violent overthrow squeezed all the oxygen out of my lungs. By the angel, he was very strong.

Panting, I sat up to see how Adam was doing and if Jace had flung himself at him again. But Adam wasn’t there anymore. For a short moment, brightness overcame me and I couldn’t see anything. Like the moment when getting out of bed too quickly, and the view blurs in a bright white for seconds. Adam was gone just as Jace and the blue training-pads. Cold snow appeared around my body and my hands left white imprints when I raised them from the ground. Then I saw _him_. He approached me slowly.

“Did you miss me, little sister?” His voice froze the blood in my veins. “Don’t worry.” A bitter smile played around his lips and it made me feel sick. “We can’t locate you for now, but our honorable father will find a way sooner or later.”

Someone was screaming. I turned around but there was nobody else in the forest except for us. It was the forest where he had almost murdered me. There was nobody here, but I could still hear a loud and painful shriek. A shriek full of fear. “Jonathan”, I gasped, completely out of breath.

Jonathan stared at me fathomlessly. “We killed dozens of Downworlders and until we find both of you, more will have to die. Surrender and stop the killing.” Before I could open my mouth to answer him, a torrid pain rose in my neck. It was the spot where he had stabbed at. I took gulps of air. My hand pressed against the beating hurt.

“Stop it”, I whispered and tried to draw back. “It’s too late anyway. _You_ are too late.”

“What do you mean?” Anger rose in his voice and he stepped towards me.

I raised my head as dignified as possible. My eyes bore in his dark ones. “I hate you and nothing will ever change that. I’d rather die than fight at your side.” I almost shouted the words, but I could have spat them at him likewise. It didn’t change the meaning.

Furiously, he bared his teeth. With a jump, he was next to me, grabbed me by the neck and lifted me up, until my feet didn’t touch the ground no more. Did he want to choke me right here? I rattled for air, but his fingers squeezed my windpipe. “We’ll find out soon enough.”  
  


The next thing I felt, was my body that hit the floor and sent a dull chill up my spine. “Clary!” When I opened my eyes again, Adam bended over me, his nose was still bleeding and there were dark bruises on his face. Horrified, I widened my eyes and screamed at him. Where had he been? Didn’t he see Jonathan? Jonathan would kill him instantly, if he saw Adam. I grabbed his hands and suddenly realized that they were smeared in blood. A sudden panic overcame me. Was there a chance that he had actually managed to hurt Jonathan? That couldn’t be possible, could it? The blood must had come from the fight with Jace. “We need a Silent Brother, immediately!”  
  


Silent brothers? By the angel, no, they should stay away from me, I didn’t want them anywhere close to me. Desperately, I tried to recognize the silhouette behind Adam. My sight was blurred but I could see someone standing there in a threatening way. Straight back, light blond hair and an athletic body frame. Jonathan. “Adam, watch out. Jonathan! Behind your back!” I raised my bloody hand and pointed at my brother who stood a metre away from us and stood put. Stiff like a statue. The whole room was whirling around like a carousel.

Adam turned around. “Go away, Jace. She’s afraid of you”, he hissed angrily. “Or go and get someone.” Jace? Puzzled, I tried to sharpen my eyes. For a short moment, I accomplished to see him. His golden eyes were filled with an expression of fear and uncertainty. He returned the look for a brief second, then he turned his back on us and ran off.

“Everything will be alright, Clary. I’m already providing you with an Iratze.” Adam pushed my forearms on the ground and took his stele. I felt a light burn when the stele drew over my skin. It gave effect immediately. My muscles relaxed and the pulse at my neck slowed down.  
  


“What’s going on with me? What happened?” My voice was winning strength and I managed to completely sit up.

“You …”, Adam went silent. “I can’t really explain what I saw. You were in some kind of trance. Your eyes fixed at thin air, nothing was there. You began to speak and then you screamed. Your throat started bleeding. It happened so fast, we weren’t able to react.” He looked down at me in worry.

I stared past him, at the blue pads where Alec and Isabelle were still sitting and watching our conversation. Alec seemed to be taken aback while a satisfied smirk played around Isabelle’s lips. Hodge must have left the room because he was nowhere to be seen. “I can’t explain it myself”, I said and concentrated on Adam again. “I saw Jonathan and he talked to me, talked about the current situation. This wasn’t a hallucination.”  
  


  
oOo

  
„She has called his name more than once“, said Hodge with a hoarse voice. He was sitting on the bed next to me and talked to my mother and Maryse who had all assembled around my bed in the infirmary. I was feeling better already, almost perfectly healthy, but my mother had insisted that I laid down for a while.

“Valentine must’ve done something to her. The only logic explanation is a magic spell or an enduring rune”, Maryse considered and sighed.

“But there aren’t such runes in the Gray Book. It must be something more powerful, although I highly doubt that a spell is the reason.” Magnus Bane strolled past the sickbeds and turned around in elegant rotations when he reached one end of the room.

“She isn’t immune against Valentine’s influence. The Silent Brothers should take care of this. They are the only ones who can deal with this kind of problem. They can identify unknown runes and erase them safely.” Maryse was standing next to my bed, and had directed her speech to my mother who sat on the edge.

Obviously, Jonathan had never truly been in the Institute. It had all happened inside my head. But there were unsolved questions. How had he been able to hurt me, if he hadn’t been present? How had he reached my mind? I didn’t remember any kind of rune or spell that Valentine had equipped me with.  
  
“We have to visit the Silent City immediately”, my mother said and stood up. “We don’t know which runes Valentine might have used on her. With a permanent location-rune they might have tracked us down already.”  
  
She was right. We didn’t know. But the Silent Brothers? Quickly, I sat up. “I don’t want to visit the Silent City”, I slowly said. “Maybe this was just-“ I didn’t want to visit the Silent Brothers. There was something mystical and depressing about them. Their rituals were even worse which made their appearance unpleasant, especially because legends said that they could read people’s thoughts.

“Out of question!” Jocelyn threw me a strict look. “We’re going. Maryse would you send a message to the Silent City to announce our visit, please?”

Maryse nodded and left the room. The noise of her boots echoes through the corridor, although she was already out of sight. I sat myself up. The wound at my throat was healed and my head didn’t ache anymore. Still, I didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but the thought of visiting the Silent City terrified me.

“I’ll go and check on Adam. Jace beat him down pretty hard.” My voice sounded discontent and absent. In a fast move, I got out of the bed and my eyes wandered through the room. The infirmary was large and decorated in dark tones. Lots of brown wooden beds, one nightstand for every bed and some potted flowers here and there. The huge tessellated windows flooded the room with warm sunlight.  
  


“Are you alright, darling?”, my mother gently asked and raised her head to stroke my hair.

Before her fingers could touch it, I made a step aside. “You have spent all those years with this man and you still didn’t know what he was doing all the time? He experimented with me, with Jonathan, and now he probably _marked_ me with a special rune that could kill all of us!” My voice trembled in anger. Why was I even reacting like this?

Jocelyn understood my fury. She shook her head and tried to contradict. “It’s not that easy, Clary. All I wanted was to protect you, both of you. Valentine is still my husband, I loved him for a long time. My fear for the Clave and what they would do to you, the Morgenstern children, was bigger than my fear of what Valentine could do. He was your father after all, I didn’t believe that he would ever harm any of you.”

“The problem is that he did harm us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)


	7. Chapter 7 - City of Bones

** Chapter 7 - City of Bones **

I didn’t know how long I had been searching for him until I finally found him in the kitchen, together with the others. Isabell was cooking but she could have made a fire just as well because there was a burnt smell all over the room. Absentminded, Alec drew a rune on Jace’s forearm, while Jace had his eyes closed. And Adam was leaning against the refrigerator with a baffled expression on his face.

Neither Isabelle nor Jace turned in my direction when I entered the kitchen. Alec examined me from top to bottom, but he didn’t look angry or leery. The first good omen today. “Clary.” Adam made some steps towards me. “You look much better.” Isabelle gave a barely hearable snort.  
  
I nodded and ignored her completely. “I’m as healthy as possible.” My voice sounded husky, but I couldn’t tell if their presences’ were the reason for it. “I came here to see you before I leave.”  
  
These words made Jace look up. Our eyes met for a second, then my eyes wandered to Adam’s face. The bruises weren’t as vibrant as some hours ago but they were still clearly visible. His left eye was framed by a dark purple one which absorbed the color of his eye. When I wasn’t directly paying attention to it, he looked like an odd pirate with a lilac eyepatch. A smile appeared on my lips at that thought. Apart from that he looked fine. His brown hair was unkempt and fell in all directions. A warm smile played around his lips.

“I’m fine but it’s nice to know that someone cares”, he said and leaned against the counter. “You’re leaving? What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes in a discontent manner.

“Can we talk outside?”, I asked and pointed at the door. Without hesitation, he nodded and followed me into the corridor. I felt Jace eyes resting on me at the way out. I didn’t feel that it was the right time now to return the look. I remembered that I called him Jonathan earlier in the training gymnasium and he wouldn’t forgive me that. As well as he wouldn’t forgive me all the felonies my father has committed.

  
“Is everything alright? You seem troubled”, Adam carefully said. I could see his eyes watching every of my movements and it bothered me that he had seen through my façade. It must have been the sentence about leaving that had perplexed him.

Therefore, I shook my head and turned to face him. “We’ll visit the Silent City. Maryse believes that Valentine marked me with a special rune or even a spell and the Silent Brothers are the only one who can free me from it. Although it’s probably not a spell.” Slowly, we walked down the corridor and reached the elevator

  
“They seem right”, Adam said and pressed the button to close the elevator’s door. “What I saw earlier in the hall … It wasn’t natural. I’ve never seen something like this before which means that the Brothers are probably the only ones who can help you. How can you be sure that it’s not a spell?”

  
“Magnus Bane was here, he’s the high warlock of Brooklyn. He’s sure that a spell is probably not the case for what happened”, I replied firmly. I trusted Magnus, he seemed like a very experienced warlock regardless of his somehow unique appearance.  
  
“What does a warlock do in the Institute?”, Adam asked and rubbed his forehead in a strange manner. He was taller than me and his voluminous hair made him look even taller.

  
At his question, I shrugged my shoulders. “He helped us escape my father”, I explained and glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes’. “Magnus created the portal that brought us to New York, and he allowed us to stay in his guestrooms.” He nodded slowly but something flashed in his eyes. “I didn’t know that you were interested in warlocks.”

Adam shook his head. “I’m not”, he said with a toneless voice. “I was just curious because we don’t get visitors from the Downworld that often.” Then his lips stretched into a distorting smile. In this moment, the elevator’s door slid open. We had reached the roof.

  
Fresh air blew towards us as we debouched the elevator and looked around. Just now I remembered that it was in the deep of the night. New York’s lights beamed all around and it felt as if we were so close to the sky with the stars all around us, so near that we could almost touch them. It was a breathtaking view to stare at all of this from up here.

  
Then I remembered why I wanted to talk to him. The light feeling in my stomach disappeared at once. “They believe that Valentine might be able to control or even locate me through the rune. Jonathan was able to enter my mind after all. Nobody knows wherefor the rune could be used.” I gave him an eager look in the hope of a calming answer, but I knew he wouldn’t give me one.

In fact, Adam just stared back. Clueless, how I guessed. He didn’t know what to say. “I told you that they would bring me to the Silent Brothers”, I slowly added, and my voice sounded bitter. “If they don’t find a solution, I don’t know what to do then.”

  
“They will”, he finally found his voice back after what felt like an eternity. “They always do. I’ll accompany you to the Silent City.” He sounded severe but his green eyes sparkled determined. I nodded even though he couldn’t see it because he had turned his back on me and stared at the city.

I stepped next to him. “I want to go out there so badly. Visit the city and have fun and forget everything for once.”

  
“Believe me, you’ll get the opportunity. I’ll try to make it happen as soon as possible”, he said with the same determined voice as just before. He turned his head in my direction. The wind had ruffled up his brown hair, but he was still handsome. “But business comes before pleasure and I believe that it’s very important to bring you to the Silent Brothers as fast as possible.”

Questioning, I looked up to him. “We will, tomorrow morning.” Adam nodded and his hand grabbed my shoulders in a soft but firm manner and gently pushed me to the elevator. “You need to get some sleep, a visit in the Silent City can be very exhausting.”

oOo

  
  


The next morning, we gathered together in the Institute’s foyer. My mother and Maryse were already there. I had picked Adam up before we met the others in the hall. Just now, I remembered the words I had thrown at Jocelyn the day before. Abruptly, I came to a halt. I couldn’t look her in the eyes, not now. From afar, I saw how distressed she looked. But I also couldn’t apologize because a little part of me was still angry at her. It was difficult for me to surpass myself.  
  


Because of that, I was grateful when Maryse began to speak. “Now that we’re all attendant, it’s time to leave for the Silent City. The Silent Brothers are expecting us already.” Maryse gave us a matt smile and then turned to my mother and nodded. She sounded patronizingly, as if talking to her fellows gave her a special feeling of power.

I turned around to face Adam who stood directly behind me. “Come”, I said, hearable only to him. Subsequently, he started to move. We followed my mother and Maryse outside. As soon as the leaf doors had closed behind us, we entered a completely different world. The world of humans. Cars were passing on the street loudly and from afar one could hear tooting.

  
In front of the Institute, at the parking lot, stood a long black car. Its windows were dimmed, and it looked much nobler than the other cars around. Nobody was paying attention to us or the car that shone out. It was the glamour. Maryse opened one of the car’s doors and let my mother, Adam and me get in. Then she hopped in herself and closed the doors. I didn’t see a driver because our area was delimited from the front region. But the car set in motion. “You better hold fast onto your seat”, Maryse warned us. She sat opposite us. Next to her was a small refrigerator and I instantly asked myself why there was one at all.

“This is called a luxury sedan”, Adam whispered into my ear. “Only rich or popular humans use this kind of car as transportation.” Thankful, I nodded but before I could respond anything, a strong jolt tossed me against my mother as the car made a turn. “Sorry”, I mumbled apologizing and she just gave me a small smile.

  
Although our journey took a while, it wasn’t boring. Most of the time, I stared out of the window and tried to memorize all the pictures in my head. There was so much going on outside the Institute, this world fascinated me. It was somehow exciting to watch the humans who spend their time together with friends or ran to work in suits that looked everything but comfortable. Some were laughing, others seemed in a hurry. In my chest, I felt the unknown longing to get out and let myself absorb by this new world. It seemed far better than my current life.

  
Never in my life have I thought that the life as normal human could be better than the life of a Shadowhunter. We were warriors after all, guarding the light and fighting against demons to protect this world. The life expectancy of a Shadowhunter wasn’t that long, many die young. Was this the life I wanted to lead? Humans hadn’t such problems, they had mundane problems and they hadn’t any burden to take.

  
Soon the buildings got smaller and fewer. The humans vanished as well. The car came to a standstill on a huge cemetery. It opened to waters which flew all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge. I could see it in the distance, from afar the bridge seemed as small as my hand.

  
One could hear single birds singing and the rustling of leaves in the wind. This place seemed peaceful. But as I had already learnt in my early years of childhood, peace was nothing more than a lie. Every living being feels, every kind in different ways. The first emotion a newborn feels when it comes to the world isn’t love or fear. It’s anger. That’s the cause for its cry and that’s the cause why humans are capable of war and destruction. My father had told me this once when I had asked him why we had to be Shadowhunters at all.

  
I closed my eyes and recalled my father in my memories. _It’s everyone’s destiny to kill or be killed. This is the circle of life, Clarissa, but most of the people deny it out of fear. They would break apart emotionally if they accepted this as the truth. Shadowhunters accept it and that’s the reason why the burden to protect this world was placed on our shoulders’. It’s our purpose to kill._

  
“For centuries, humans weren’t buried in New York anymore”, said Maryse. “The cemetery has been abandoned a long time ago. Humans don’t come here, they won’t find their loved ones’ here. For us, this place hides something of very high importance. The City of Bones. It’s an uncommon term for the Silent City.” She probably thought I wasn’t aware of this. But of course, I was. I was also aware that the remains of all past Shadowhunter generations lied in the City. Their souls connected forever. 

  
I went over the cemetery. I had directly known where the entrance was. It was at the tall statue of the archangel Raziel. The Mortal Cup in his hand was unmistakable. Maryse followed me with fast steps. Gasping out, she came to a halt next to me and she tried to keep her voice calm. “How do you know about this place?”

  
My eyes searched for hers and I noticed that she stared at me in a mixture of cautiousness and rigor. “The knowledge Valentine has shared with us didn’t contain smithereens from sources older than any of us. We learnt everything from first-hand information.”

If Maryse was frightened, she was able to hide it perfectly well. She only nodded and then turned, looking for Jocelyn and Adam. Just now I realized that I had forgotten him entirely. I had probably left him at the sedan, baffled. A moment later, I heard his steps on the wet ground and then he was standing in front of me. “Make sure you don’t slip.”  
  


I watched him disapproving. „I know what moss is, Adam. It exists in Idris as well.”

“Does it?” He asked and questioned me with a smile. I laughed at him.  
  


Meanwhile, Maryse had opened the gate to the Silent City. A last time, I looked around. Something seemed off. As if someone was watching us. I could feel it in my bones. But it was already too dark to see anything. In front of the grey sky, the black branches of the trees were striking. 

“Are you coming?” Adam was waiting at the gate while Maryse went down the stone staircase. Somehow, I had imagined the gate to be huger. Fastly, I followed Adam and felt the cool breath of my mother in my neck as she let me come first.

As soon as we had reached the foot of the steep stairs, the gate closed with a tremor which got my hackles raised. The faint light from outside was gone and for a short moment, we were in the dark until Jocelyn activated her witchlight. We imitated her. The walls seemed highly polished. Our lights almost reflected in them like they would in water. Just on the second sight I recognized the runes engraved in them.  
  


We followed the long but narrow corridor. When Adam stopped, I almost ran into him. Maryse had also stopped in her track. I risked a glance back. My mother was tensed up, she clenched her teeth together and regarded me with a vacuous look.  
  


Suddenly, the corridor was flashed up in gleaming light. I jerked and tread on Jocelny’s feet. When my eyes got used to the light, I noticed that all around us, torches had begun to burn. Orange flames flared in aloft and the fire threw dancing shadows on the wall. I turned again and saw the whole corridor burning. Far away I could distinguish the stairs. We had come further than I expected. Suddenly there was a shadow standing on the staircase. Startled, I tried to make out more details, but it was already gone. Despite the warming torches, I was freezing. Had it only been the reflection due to the fire?

_The Silent Brothers welcome you.  
  
_

Again, I turned around and stared into the faces of a tall man. Could I even call him man anymore? Instantly, the shadow on the staircase was forgotten. My flight instinct urged me to run away as the fire cast eerie shadows on his scars. My father had warned us against their rites. They were dangerous and could immediately kill normal Shadowhunters without the right runes.  
  
“Brother Jeremiah”, Maryse whispered and nodded respectfully. The Silent Brothers had a very high repute in the Shadowhunter society. It was a great honor to join the brotherhood. And it was an even a greater sacrifice. “How you already witnessed, I have warranted safety to two members of the Morgenstern family in the New York Institute.”

  
_Indeed, Jocelyn and Clarissa Morgenstern.  
  
_

My mother stepped forward and took my hand in order that I followed her when she walked past Adam. I felt deeply concerned. Fear flowed through my veins and let them freeze. Why did I have to talk to them? How should the Silent Brothers help to free me from my rune? Angrily, I wrested my hand away from my mother. I shouldn’t be afraid of them, it was silly. After all, they were here to help me.  
  


 _I have heard a lot about you, daughter of the Morgenstern.  
  
_ Somehow, it this could have been obvious. I sighed. Why had everybody had to know me? Brother Jeremiah bended forward. His long bony fingers touched my temple. Startled, I flinched. His fingers were icecold as if there was no blood flowing through his body.

  
_You have to relax, Clarissa.  
  
_

His voice echoed through my head and I noticed that he must have spoken to me only because the others watched us, alarmed. As if I could go up in flames any second. Nonsense.  
  
 _Follow me. I will guide you to the others._

We did what he said and followed him into another, wider corridor. More hallways diverted from it and lead into other parts of the Silent City that we would probably never face. From some point, the atmosphere grew a little warmer. Old carpets, weaponry and emblems hung on the walls. We went down another long but wider staircase, passed libraries and even a source of water. Everything was lighted by torches and the deeper we went down in the earth the higher the ceiling and the more gorgeous the exhibits got. An archangel was painted on the ceiling above us and I had to think of the Institute immediately. Like in a trance, Jeremiah guided us through the corridors. We could only question ourselves for what all those room had been made once. He explained nothing but kept quiet as his codex demanded of him. Maybe he regarded that knowledge as redundant for us. He just shared the most important information with us.  
  
After a lot of corridors brother Jeremiah suddenly paused and turned to us. We stood in a large circular room. The ground in the middle of the room was carved with runes which shaped another smaller circle. The material of the ground was another than the one where we were standing right now. Somehow, it reminded me of a place for the incantation of a demon. The room looked like an old cave. The ceiling wasn’t even but different sized salt crystals hung down from it. It was completely dark and still I could spot grey silhouettes in the shadows. They seemed to watch us from all sides.

Just when I lifted my gaze from the ground, I noticed that brother Jeremiah had vanished. I felt the lump return in my stomach. Slowly, I turned around. Maryse and Adam stood offside and their eyes rested on me. My mother was next to me and squeezed my hand. I gave her a look. She nodded encouraging and then I let go of her hand and stepped carefully in the middle of the circle. My hand pulsed at the spot my mother had touched.  
  
 _Clarissa Morgenstern._ The voice echoed clearly in my head as if someone had really spoken. _There is no need to explain us the reason of your visit today._

In this moment, torches lighted up at the walls and the Silent Brothers stepped out of the shadows. They totally looked alike but somehow still differed slightly. I felt the power of their voices as they spoke to me, contemporary and completely synchronic. And although it fascinated me, I felt fear burning deep inside my chest.  
  
“Why?” My voice was rough and seemed miles away. I recognized brother Jeremiah. The Silent Brothers had come to a standstill in a circle-like formation around me. I straightened my back and pulled my shoulders up. They couldn’t see or feel my fear. It would make me weak. One of the brother’s slowly walked towards me and lifted his right hand in my direction. I stared at him without any emotion. 

  
_Why are you torturing yourself?  
  
_

His question threw me off track. Torturing myself? I didn’t do anything. Confused, I pressed my lips together.  
  
 _Your emotions make who you are._ His thin fingers touched my temple. _I can feel your inner conflict. The warrior in you tries to be strong but you are alone. Valentine’s power is very strong. Way stronger than yours._

  
Of course, he was stronger than me. Irritated, I narrowed my eyes to slits. He was my father after all and knew me inside out. My strengths but also my weaknesses.  
  
 _He wanted to protect you from your weaknesses._ Puzzled, I lifted my head and remembered again that there were no eyes I could have looked into. “Protect from what?” My body was tensed. I didn’t dare to move.  
  


_Valentine marked you with two runes. One rune that is contrary to our rune for location. The rune is very strong. There is another one, a rune that is unfamiliar to us. None of us can explain how he managed to mark you with this rune without damaging you.  
  
_

I couldn’t believe Jeremiah’s words. Runes that the Silent Brothers didn’t know about? “I’m not able to see them”, I said. “Why?”

  
 _We do not know the answer to your question, Clarissa Morgenstern. But we can try to ascertain an answer. After the past happenings it will be best to search your mind for damages and check if there is maybe a blockade of your memory.  
  
_ Calmly, I nodded and hoped that they would be able to annul whatever my father had done to me. To know that my father and brother were able to attack me whenever they liked was probably the worst thought I could think of right now. If they did something, I wouldn’t be able to fight back.

Out of the corner or my eye, I noticed the rest of the group leaving the room. The fire died out and darkness surrounded me.

Abruptly, I got cold when I realized that I was alone in the room with living beings who mutilated themselves. I couldn’t panic. So, I closed my eyes and recalled that they were only here to help me. They had been ordinary Shadowhunter once, just like me. They had submitted themselves to this ordeal to serve the Clave and the Nephilim’s society.  
  


My head felt heavy and numb. And suddenly I began to scream. What was going on? Frantically, my eyes tried to orient but it was too dark to peer through it. It felt as if they were ripping all my nervous apart. With every cry they separated me a little more from my body. I sensed a nagging touch on my back. During the scream I finally noticed that I was laying on the ground. Breathing for air, I felt the rhythm of my screams, the pulsation of my heart that started to throb like crazy with every new cry escaping my lips. But there was no pain. I didn’t know the reason for my screams, there was no pain to feel but. And then, when I believed my vocal chords would rip apart I suddenly saw them.

Pictures. They ran past me, way too fast to look properly at them. I recognized cold winter days, woods, Valentine, Jonathan and me together in a room that was unknown to me. Almost, I was able to tell what happened on those pictures, but it somehow didn’t pass my lips. As if someone had strapped my tongue to prevent me from saying it out loud. It didn’t make any sense. As if someone had taken the knowledge from me, leaving smithereens of memories I couldn’t compose.  
  
A second later the memories all came back at once. I flinched although it happened in my head. They flooded my brain like a big wave without giving me the chance to prepare for this mass of information. Valentine was leaning over me. I hadn’t heard him coming. The Silent Brothers were laying dead on the ground. Their mute screams burst through the silence. How was it to die as lonely as them?

_“Clarissa, she’ll come. She’ll be here any second. We have to hurry.” He grabbed my arm and placed his stele on my skin. I got up and my look fell on Jonathan who was leaning against the wall uncertainly. His green eyes were widened, and he stared at me in unwavering grief.  
_   
_“I’m sorry, Clary. I never wanted to hurt you; you know that I would never do something like this on purpose.” He looked younger. Of course, he hadn’t done it on purpose. He would never do that._

_  
I nodded and smiled at him while my father pulled the shirt at my neck aside and drew a rune. “Don’t worry”, I said over my shoulder. “The iratze is already working. It was just a stupid accident; this happens all the time at training.” My brother seemed to calm down at my words. His jaw relaxed and he sat down at the wooden table.  
  
_

_I felt the rune in my neck taking full effect. But something was different. The burning that indicated the rune’s effect didn’t stop. “Clarissa, you have to listen to me now very carefully”, my father began to speak and stroked through my hair affectionately. “You mustn’t tell anybody about this rune. Especially not your mother or anybody else. Promise it to me.”_

  
_I examined Jonathan who just shrugged with his shoulders. “Why can’t I tell Mom about it?” She was part of our family after all._

_My father smiled softly. „You could put her in danger. But you wouldn’t want to do that, would you?” Determined, I shook my head because I would never do something that could harm my family. “I promise.”_

_  
“I knew it. You and your brother would never put our family in danger. It’s a special gift you two always have to keep in mind.” I glanced at Jonathan. His smile was beaming, and his green eyes were sparkling.  
  
_

oOo

  
  
  


I cast up my eyes. My back reported that the ground was hard and cold. Slowly, I got up and a slight groan escaped my lips as my head began to pulse. Did I bash my head up? Damn.

_Damn!_

In a sudden, I turned around to observe the room. Valentine was gone and Jonathan with him.  
  


Something in me tightened. _You and your brother would never put our family in danger_. Before I could burst out in tears, I shouted my anger out. All those new memories in my head, most of them were just forgotten moments with my family or Jonathan in particular. But some were different. In my mind, I saw Valentine going down a secret staircase nobody else knew existed. Things he had done, things he had wanted to keep away from us.

I didn’t exactly know when the Silent Brothers started to try to make me get up on my feet again. The memories changed something deep inside me. I felt a heat in my neck. When brother Jeremiah came near me, I struck at him with all the power left in my muscles. A moment later, I was up on my feet and ran out of the room. I couldn’t see anything, my sight was burred and deformed, and everything was bloodred. My feet were running. I had lost control over them. Someone called my name, but it didn’t bother me. They had failed me.

Valentine had known that Jocelyn wanted to leave him. He must have known it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have made such arrangements. He had betrayed me, betrayed us. He had killed Jonathan and replaced his spirit with a monster.

I saw his smile. His sparkling eyes. Why hadn’t I suspected anything? Valentine appeared in front of my mind’s eye. How had he felt when he killed his son? What had been Jonathan’s last thoughts? His smile.

  
I collapsed on the ground. My sobs echoed through the stony corridors. They would find me and think that it was best to lock me up with this mental condition. But I had discovered the truth. They could lock me up, torture or even kill me. I didn’t want to live without Jonathan. In this moment, I realized that I would never see the real Jonathan again, I would never get him back. Because he didn’t exist anymore. And every time I would meet his body, I would stare in the eyes of the creature and keep looking for my brother.  
  


My whole body trembled. It was cold and dark. From afar, I heard steps that came closer. Voices that shouted my name. The fire’s crackle.

  
“Clary.” It sounded like the call for battle. I didn’t know how often my mother cried our my name. I didn’t care.  
  


Not before her hands touched my shoulders, I reacted. My hands pressed against the ground as if it would give in under the pressure. I was sure that I must looked like a lunatic. Like a dangerous lunatic.

Slowly, I turned my head and stared at my mother with widened eyes. Dark tears ran down her check and she breathed heavily. She sank to the ground next to me and watched me. “Clary, by the angel. What happened?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t tell her although I had to. “I saw them”, I uttered. Her eyes met mine in confusion.

“Who did you see, Clary?” She stroked my cheek calmingly. I recognized Adam behind her back. He had stopped some metres away.

“Father“, my voice began to stumble “And Jonathan. It was a memory. We were in a room that I didn’t recognize. Father applied a rune on my skin. He said I wasn’t allowed to tell you about it because otherwise I’d put you in danger.”

The look in her eyes changed. Her features stiffened to a unreadable mask. “Where was Jonathan?”

How should I tell her about him without seeing his eyes in front of my mind’s eye? What would he think about me if I told her? “He was with us. And he seemed happy. He smiled at me and apologized for something he had done to me during our training. I can’t exactly tell when this happened, but Jonathan looked younger, maybe a year or two have passed since then.” There was it again. His smile. I flinched and shook my head to dispel his face out of my head.

Jocelyn kept silent. She swayed back and forth as if she wanted to calm herself down. My eyes watered.

“Mom, he must had known about your plans. Even years prior. Otherwise he wouldn’t had made such arrangements. He just hadn’t known the day of our escape.” Humans changed over time. Time changed and created someone new. Like a snake which transformed to something entirely else every time it molt. 

But my mother said nothing. Stone-still, she sat next to me.

„Clarissa.“ Suddenly, Maryse was standing next to me. I hadn’t heard her coming and spun around startled. Almost automatically, I snapped to fighting position what didn’t escape Maryse’s eyes. She raised her hands in a mollifying matter and signalized that she didn’t want to do us any harm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to alarm you.” Her voice sounded unusual troubled. Jocelyn still sat on the ground and didn’t seem to be interested in Maryse’s words. “I asked brother Jeremiah about your condition. Valentine had marked you with two runes and none of them is from the Gray Book.” My mother flinched as if someone had hit her. “But the Silent Brothers are sure that one of those runes is a modified kind of our protection rune. The other one was close to our location rune.”

Then, the Silent Brothers must have identified the meaning of the second rune in my absence. Rune of protection. Valentine had wanted to protect me. Although… “Modified?” I wanted to sound confident, but my voice didn’t even get close. I sounded like a little girl that had cried and screamed all day until her vocal chords had given up.

Maryse’s dark hair was braided to a severe plait which swang left and right while she nodded. “They suppose that the modification made it possible to enter your mind.” My stomach got heavy all at once. In this life every positive message must had a dark drawback. I saw my father as he drew the rune on my neck. The way he had smiled when he finished it. _It’s a special gift you two always have to keep in mind._

“However, and fortunately they never had full control. The brothers can’t tell if they were able to locate you, but they weren’t able to read your mind or something similar. They didn’t harm your mind at all.” I couldn’t tell if this message was good or bad. My mind was alright then, but nobody could assure me that they didn’t already know my location.

  
“What you want to say is, my father could already be on his way to New York to kill all of us? I can’t see how this is a fortune.” One could tell that it cost Maryse some effort to answer me in a friendlier tone than I had done.

“The Clave sensed no portal energy in Idris or in the state of New York. It means that we are safe for now. Magnus Bane is supervising all magic activities throughout the city. If they are coming, we will know about it”, she explained in a gritty tone and turned to Adam.

“Stand up!” I didn’t sound considerate at all. “I want to leave this place right now.” To my surprise, Jocelyn followed my instruction and slowly stood up from the cold ground. But her mimic didn’t change.  
  


“Is she even allowed to go?”, Adam asked Maryse. His voice was impersonal and hoarse. “I mean, she literally fled the room. Did the brothers finish their … _thing_?”

Maryse nodded slowly. “Brother Jeremiah said that they are done for now. They managed to remove both runes. Clary got some old memories back which her father wanted her to forget. It’s all they can do for now but if something like yesterday happens again Clary has to return to the Silent City immediately.”

I threw a look at Adam. He was leaning against the wall with crossed arms and looked over to us with a petrifying expression. His body language radiated nonchalance but his look said something else. “That sounds good enough to me”, I said while staring at him. “Let’s go back to the Institute then. This procedure … made me tired.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back,  
> I'm so sorry for not updating in a while, but I was so busy with university. I hope you liked the chapter!


	8. Chapter 8 - The Quiet Before The Storm

** Chapter 8 “The Quiet Before The Storm” **

  
  
Around midday, we had reached the Institute. It had been difficult for me to keep my eyes open during the drive. Fatigue had overwhelmed me every few minutes and had made it impossible to watch the happenings outside the car. The Silent Brothers’ rituals had exhausted me completely. I had wished for my bed.

The others had been unusually quiet as well. The whole drive long, nobody had said a word. I hadn’t been quite sure, whereof it had been due to, but everyone had been able to sense the uncomfortable atmosphere. It had been obvious, that everyone had bothered oneself about the past incidents. Although, the Silent City had brought me nothing but emotional distress, I was glad that I had been too exhausted to bother myself with the same questions. Even though, Maryse thought that our current situation was safe, nobody was truly convinced by it.

The only thing I could remember, from our journey back to the Institute, was Adam’s face. While I had swapped between trance and vigilance, Adam had watched me with an amused look. I didn’t know, if he had observed me all the time, or only when I had been able to come through the heavy fog in my head and opened my eyes.

Adam had to sustain me at the exit, I had been too tired. After I had reached my room with a lot of effort, I had directly fallen asleep. It had been a deep and dreamless sleep.

Now, I laid in my bed and tried to remember where I was. My sleep was rarely so deep that I had to orient myself the day after. The sun already lowered itself against the horizon and a cool wind blew through the open window. Freezing, I pulled the blanket up under my chin.

Because we had left so early in the morning, Maryse had rescheduled today’s training to the afternoon. Adam had promised to pick me up. But since he wasn’t here yet, I supposed that I had some time left.

I had hardly dressed myself up, when there was a knock at the door and Adam entered the room. “Have you been able to recover a bit?”, he asked in a soft tone and leaned against the door frame.

I folded my clothes and nodded, my back turned on him. “I can’t say, that I’d be strong enough for a fight, but it’ll be enough for today.” Hodge had assured us yesterday, that we would only do archery today. A rather less demanding kind of defense by comparison to the others.

The others were already there when we arrived at the training hall. Someone had hung up human targets, made from straw, at the end of the room. Impalpable, they hung from a thin wire, some centimeters above the ground. Alec was standing in the middle of the hall, a bended bow in his hand. The arrow, which he let go consequently, hit the puppet’s heart exactly. It was this moment when I realized that I had underestimated Alec. Until now, I had only noticed him as Jace’ quiet Parabatai who always stayed close to him. His ability at sword fight was alright, he belonged to the higher midfield. But the bow was definitely his talent.

Jace stood next to him and watched him silently. His eyes were fixed on the bow in Alec’s hand, and he didn’t look up when we entered the hall. Isabelle was a little offside and seemed to be in her own world. She twisted her mouth, dissatisfied, and her eyes were concentrating on the target. An arrow stuck in the object’s shoulder. I had to suppress a grin.

Adam and I took a bow and quiver with arrows, each. Short afterwards, Hodge arrived and began with his introduction. We positioned ourselves next to each other and implemented his words, almost synchronous. _Straight posture. Breathing. Apprehend and anchor the arrow. Raise the elbow. Prefix the target. Contact of the bowstring. Bend. Exhale. Shoot._ It was weird to hear those words out of Hodge’s mouth. 

Alec and I both hit the bullseye. The targets staggered in the air, when our arrows hit the heart, marked in red. My lips twitched to a content smirk. I heard Jace snorting and when I lowered my bow, I saw his eyes fixing me. Was he surprised? Did he expect me to fail?

I responded his look, without emotion, and reached for another arrow at the same time. He copied me. Almost greedy, his eyes seemed to follow my every move. My gaze wandered to his target. He had just missed the heart.

“Very good, Alec”, said Hodge and clapped Alec on his shoulder. “You too, Clary.” A small smile appeared on his face and the wrinkles on his skin twisted.

Alec turned his head and seemed to wake up from his training trance. He looked over at my arrow, which still stuck in the puppet’s red heart, and the corners of his mouth contorted. Then, he turned to me and silently observed me for a moment. His dark eyes rested on me, unemotionally. Suddenly, he lowered his sight in an almost resigned way.

“Let’s start all over again”, Hodge demanded, while he walked up and down behind us. This time, he came to a halt between Isabelle and me, and I knew that he wouldn’t watch me.

_Straight posture. Breathing. Apprehend and anchor the arrow. Raise the elbow. Prefix the target. Contact of the bowstring. Bend. Exhale. Shoot._ His words echoed in my head. In front of my inner eye, my father emerged. His striking facial features were shaped to a detached mask, and he studied me out of his indispensable eyes. Wariness mirrored in its black. Then, he repeated the words and I followed his command in one fluent movement. The arrow bored, almost unresisting, through the dark raven’s throat. But even from this distance, I could see the blood sprinkle on the white snow. 

I breathed out and felt the warm breath on my fingers, which were closed around the bow’s end. Alec’s precise arrow met the target right next to his first arrow. Then, my eyes were looking for my own arrow. It had also found its way to the first arrow but had split it in half. Slowly, I lowered the bow, without keeping my eyes off the puppet.

A short silence filled the room. Adam was the first to speak again. “And I thought that you couldn’t be any better”, he said composed and came a step closer. His bow dangled carelessly between his fingers. “Please help me to improve. It doesn’t matter how precisely I target, I always miss the heart by a hair.”

A quiet snort behind me brought me back to reality. I looked over to Isabelle. She had missed the heart again. In contrast to Jace, who had hit it just so.

For a moment, I stared at him, puzzled. Did he just ask me for help? He didn’t smile, but examined me firmly with his green eyes. I wanted to decline but something in his eyes glowed so intense that it was impossible to look away. Finally, I glared at Hodge, questioning, who nodded slightly.

“All right”, I said with a firm voice and pointed at his bow. “Shoot another arrow.” He pressed his lips together and did what I had asked him to do. In a fast movement, he grasped for an arrow. Then, he positioned the arrow and bend the bow. He was in the act of letting the arrow fly, when I interrupted him.

Slightly baffled, he turned his head in my direction. I walked up to him, until I was standing right next to him. With a featherlight touch, I pressed his elbow upwards. “There must be a bigger gap between your feet”, I strictly explained and automatically had to think of Valentine.

“Like this?”, Adam asked and viewed me, eager for knowledge. I nodded. “Now, let it fly.” His arrow hit the puppet’s heart, even if not as central as Alec’s or my. Pleased about his success, he yanked his head up and beamed at me. “You’re a great teacher”, he said in a spurred tone. Just when he saw my face, he went silent and raised his eyebrows.

“You disregard your breathing. You have to breathe out before you let the arrow go, but you breathe _when_ you let it go. As a result, you move your whole body and miss the target.” Astonished, he viewed the puppet from afar, and seemed to think about something. The others had stopped their training to watch us.

Silent, I handed him another arrow. Adam took it and rocked it in his hand for a second, before he stemmed his feet in the ground, exhaled and lifted the bow. This time, he hit the exact middle of the fixed target. I smiled while I watched the puppet, which had been pushed back by the arrow’s force and was now swaying back and forth.

“That’s the way”, said Hodge and one could hear him smirk. “Well done.” Adam smiled thankfully at me and then turned to Hodge.

We continued to train. After a while, Hodge gave us small, with straw filled, leather balls. One ball just fit in my fist. Adam began to throw them in the air, in order that I hit them with an arrow in mid-air. It was more difficult to get a precise hit because the ball was small and moved unpredictably, depending on how Adam threw it. But it was manageable and it worked out every time, although not as exactly as with the immobilized puppets.

Soon enough, Jace and Alec started to train with the leather balls as well. Only Isabelle was still standing in front of her target. Sometimes she hit the heart and sometimes she didn’t. It seemed to be coincidence rather, and had nothing to do with the quality of her technique. I could see mistakes in her stance. Besides, she looked frustrated and inattentive and there were beads of sweat on her face.

When she missed the target another time, I lowered the bow and walked closer to her. But I stopped far enough from her, so I didn’t enter her privacy. “You hold the bow too aggressively”, I neutrally noticed. “It’s okay to hold a sword like that, but a bow should be held with less force. You have to concentrate more on the target. It helps when you exhale before you let go.” Contrary to Adam, she didn’t exhale before letting go because she didn’t exhale at all. She was inattentive and every failure infuriated her more. “You need to keep a cool head. Furthermore, try not to straighten your back completely, the shoulders should remain lower.”

It probably sounded like huge criticism, but it was all about tiny details which added up. A single detail could be enough to lose the rigor. Isabelle stared at me for several moments, angry and with narrowed eyes. She was probably irritated to be corrected by me. I hadn’t believed, that she would give an ear to me, but had wanted to try it after all.

“I don’t need your help”, she snapped scornfully and turned to her target again. Her dark braid spun through the air, as she jerked her head forward. Her lips were pressed together, enraged.

Wordless, I shrugged my shoulders and began to throw targets for Adam. But instead of following Adam and his achievement ratio, I watched Isabelle out of the corners of my eyes’. I saw, how she breathed deeply and shortly closed her eyes. And to my surprise, she actually did, what I had told her only seconds ago. Her arrow hit the heart of the puppet. Isabelle smiled. I turned my head away and smiled, too.

Just a moment later, a deafening screech roared through the hall.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, I hope you liked the new chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts! See you in three weeks!


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